So why does he say to call him?
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| Sat, 06-03-2006 - 8:09am |
Just ended relationship with someone who could never discuss anything beyond the superficial topics of what activities we participated in. (Films, museums, etc) There were so many signs that he wasn't interested in more. After 6 months of dating, he never introduced me to his friends, I never met anyone from his family, and he rarely came to see me. I would always have to visit him at his house. He also disliked speaking on the phone. When we were not together he limited our communication to email.
When I went to see him for the last time, I told him it "just didn't work" and he said "you're probably right." But then, curiously, he asked me to call him when I get back from vacation so we could have dinner.
Perhaps he wants to be friends but I feel like it would be more of the same in a non-sexual relationship w/ him. He had lied/withheld info to/from me on several occasions. I don't trust him. And instead of TELLING me he was not into having a relationship, (though he BEHAVED that way) I had to figure it out for myself, which caused a lot of unecessary confusion for me. (He would say one thing yet do another, for instance: a month ago when I asked him if he still wanted to continue our relationship, he said YES & that he would tell me if he did not, yet he behaved in ways that told me he was not interested, such as cancelling travel plans together and going on his own ... this made me suspect he was seeing someone else ... again, he would not be straight with me when I asked him if it were true ... he would say he was in a bad mood and could we talk about it in a few days, but then when the day came to talk he sidestepped the issue.)
However, when together, we always had a great time. We liked a lot of the same things and enjoyed those experiences very much. I guess that is what kept me interested in the relationship, but because he kept such control over everything, my gut senses more of the same confusion if we were to be friends. Which I do not want as I don't believe a good time is worth the aftermath of confusion, and he is so unwilling to talk with me on that level.
The problem is that we travel in the same circles, and I am sure to run into him at some point. Any advice?? He never had anything positive to say about his exes, (according to him, they were all "crazy" ... wonder why?) so I'll be a little nervous if I see him.

If you don't want to be friends with him (and I can certainly understand why you wouldn't want to be), then don't. Who cares what HE wants or why???
When you run into him out and about, be cordial and polite, but that's it.
Sheri
ANYWAY, we have been broken up for almost a month now and I am still trying to deal. We shared alot together and I always thought he would "grow up" and realize what a relationship means. That never happened.
I broke up with him. Initially we had decided to try and remain friends, we hung out together and went out dinner, things like that but it always lead back to getting intimate again and creating more confusion as to What we were. About two weeks ago I asked him to not talk to me/ call me anymore. I still miss him like crazy and think about him everyday but ut is getting easier this way. Just yesterday he sent me a msg saying he missed me. I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not. How is it working for you?
http://www.ezinearticles.com/?The-Best-Break-Up-Advice&id=13955
Maybe you will find it useful?