So...he contact me last night

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
So...he contact me last night
1
Fri, 04-22-2005 - 10:34pm

And we had to meet today so that I could pick up some very very important mail. we met at a neutral location. we had a simple hug hello. he gave me my mail and asked how i was doing, i was honest and told him sometimes i'm sad, sometimes i'm mad, and sometimes i don't give a f. he told me what he has been up to, reading, teaching, playing. standing there i realize that i'm still very much in love with this man (i had been telling myself that i love him but was quickly falling out of love - nope, i guess not too slowly) so i quickly excused myself. he wanted a hug goodbye and this time the embrace was solid and long. i figure like someone who misses someone.

he wanted to catch up again before i take my sabatacle (to clean my mind i've decided to take an exotic trip for a few weeks). i told him that i didn't know if that would be possible or such a good idea for me, that i still harbor feelings for him.

feelings of hate have drifted away - though i still have my moments of sudden rage. and now that i've seen him i realize that the feelings of love still are very strong. i'm just trying to live day by day and be strong. at least i haven't been the one to initiate contact. i'll be okay though. i'm by no means crushed by the realization, at the time i had it, i was a tad sad, but i'll stay strong. it just means that the road i need to take may be slightly harder and longer than i though.

his choice, my decision.




Edited 4/23/2005 1:08 am ET ET by monortsa
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 10:38pm
I know it must have been hard seeing him but you made it through and you'll be ok.
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