Some thoughts....?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Some thoughts....?
2
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 3:46pm
Hi all-
My ex and I were together for over four years, the last one was like a push and pull of breaking up but continually keeping contact. Well, as of yesterday, we are totally done. He told me I was a waste of his time, I'm white trash, I'm messed (not that word) in the head, blah blah blah. This isn't the first time this has happened. We have been broken up since before Christmas with maybe being intimate once or twice. My question is, is that I created a profile on Match about a month ago and I just want to know if others think that pursuing something like that is a good idea. Not for necessarily a full blown relationship, but maybe simple for good conversation and a little bit of a distraction from my ex. I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy, but honestly, I'm 28 and thought that marriage would be in the works for me soon so there is also a part of me that doesn't want anymore time to slip away. And also, I never really dated. I had a long term from 19 to 22, single for a year and a half and then got together with my ex. So I'm thinking that I could just use it as a dating thing, not necessarily a relationship seeker. What do all you women of wisdom think?
Thanks-
Meag
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 4:22pm

Im sorry for your situation. I would personally wait. I think the only distraction you should find is with yourself.. u were in a long term relationship..if u r ready to date after a day..go for it...but you need to focus on yourself..find out everything you can about you...your likes dislikes/ relationship issues..etc..before dating...i dont think focusing on someone else is the answer. It just takes the focus off you and your healing and puts it on someone else........I would work on myself first...then figure out what you want.......Trust me it is easier to look for a distraction, but do the work now, greive etc..then go do what u really want to do!!! Trust me, I am 31..and i did thought i would be married the whole thing...life sometimes just happens...

Bella

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 4:35pm
I hear what you are saying but the past four months I have been working on myself. I have maybe seen him less than a dozen time since Christmas and I am in counseling and working on stuff that I have never worked on before. I know what I want and don't want the next time around and I think i know myself better now than I ever have before...