Someday...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
Someday...
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 2:47pm

I had a wonderful 4 year relationship with the man I loved that just ended recently.
Before he came along, everyone was in relationships...except me. I listened to my friend talk about the sweet things their boyfriends did for them, and although I was happy for them, I wish I had a boyfriend of my own. One night when I was around...18ish, I begin praying for one thing: that the Lord will bring me true love. I asked the Lord to bless this young man and keep him...although I had yet to know his name. I was reassured that we were both sleeping under the same sky, and that someday we will meet and it would be right. In my heart, I talked to him daily, telling him that I cant wait to meet him, and that I loved him already. Two years later, the Lord answered my prayers and brought him into my life.

We were best friends for quite some time before we realized that we liked each other...we would stay on AIM all night chatting about video games, the opposite sex, and just life in general. (The thing is that we are COMPLETE opposites...I'm very outgoing, he's super shy and quiet. I'm an art major, he's a science major. Somehow, we balanced each other out.) What we didnt know at that time is that we were unconsciously falling in love with each other although we both we involved (or trying to) with other people. He would come over to my place at least 4 times a week and park illegally (there was absolutely no parking near my building) and get 25 dollar tickets everytime. We would lay in my bed and cuddle...the type of cuddling that didnt lead to sex.

Looking back on it, our courtship was so cute and innocent. We would make up lame excuses to spend time with each other (i.e. going ghost hunting at local "haunted" sites...lol) The more time we spent together, the more I realized that he was the one for me. After 7 months of "best friendom" we shared our first kiss. The sweetest kiss one can imagine. This was a turning point in our relationship....he described it as travelling into a new abyss called love. Intially, he was apprehensive...he didnt want to lose his best friend. But at the same time, he couldnt resist the gentle calling of love. At the beginning of our relationship, we made a pact with each other to be HONEST with each other and communicate everything. Above all, we took everything slow and let love develop. Everyone around us seen how much in love we were. We didnt always have to proclaim it to the world...it showed in our actions. Actions that were otherwise alien to BOTH of us (he never would hold hands with a girl in public, and I finally gave up the intense partying and drinking because I knew that he didnt want to see me in that state). We supported each other, we shared our dreams with each other...everything a true love is supposed to be. The bumps and bruises were few...and minor, because we always talked about everything before it reached a climax. When people asked me how we managed to stay in such a healthy relationship, I would tell them "patience, understanding, and communication...as corny and as cliche as it sounds...its true". We deeply loved each other on so many levels.

All good things must come to an end. Over these four years, in specifically these past few weeks, we just grew apart. We both graduated, he is moving oversears for a bit, then will return here to the United States to start Med school. Me? I'm starting a master's program in Art History, and will likely return to Europe and study. I was his first love, and he was my first love. I was his first girlfriend, and he was my first real boyfriend. I know that he will experience other women, and grow as a man in the same way I will grow as woman and learn more about myself. We been through so much together...but the Lord is taking him out of my life for a reason. Hopefully, with time and prayer, the Lord will bring him into my life again. After all, a love like this dont come around everyday...as our friends, family, and our hearts reminded us constantly. Although I'm upset and sad now that love is lost, I'm grateful to God that it happened. Love has been good to me. I'm looking foward to tomorrow...when my heart heals, when we can be best friends again, and POSSIBLY after years we can fall in love again.