Someone console me please!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2005
Someone console me please!!
3
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 10:10am
Im a guy of 24, ive come on here because i cant really ask the guys this sort of stuff. I have recently broken up with a my first love after 3 years, i never really been out with anyone before her cos no one seemed worth it up until we met...im experienced anyhow. We always got on so well, we went every where together, had a lot of love for each other and were more than best friends always. We adored each other and naturally devoted to each others happiness. We have also been through some very tough times together as i suffer from severe depression. I managed with her support to build up my own business selling designer clothes over the internet which proved to be quite lucrative. We had been struggling due to the death of my best friend earlier this year and i decided that i needed to be on my own for a while, ive never grieved before and it all felt strange and i couldnt even talk to my gf. we got back together and she was convinced that i had cheated on her because she called up one day and my flat mates cousin answered the phone (who is a woman). she went nuts, verbally abused me cried the whole lot but she wouldnt listen to anything that i had to say. Obviously by now i am absolutely gutted and angry at the phone calls telling me she is going on holiday and that shes going to f**k someone else and get over me bla bla bla. "Ok" i thought shes angry ill wait until she calms down and sort it out with her. i come home from work the other day to find that my house had been broken into and all my photos of us have gone along with £7000 worth of designer clothes, it turns out it is my ex as my neighbours see her with her new "guy" drumming my gaff. Now dont get me wrong im no mug and i would usually go sort it out myself but i just feel so out raged and confused that someone that close to me could do such a vindictive thing to someone they are supposed to love. I feel like i could kill her and her new lover, however i wont be pulled into that! i just keep asking why. i feel so violated, confused and betrayed and i just dont know how i am ever going to trust another woman again. What makes women tick i ask??? this is so out of character for her and i feel so ashamed and hurt that i have had to wreck her life by getting her arrested for burglary after all the love she has given me. Someone please give me some free advice on how to cope with this, im desparing and gutted.....confused dude.x
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2003
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 2:03pm

Mr. Dude,

Sorry. I'm really sorry this girl turned out to be a different type of person than what you thought. It's a darned shame when this happens. It's like when a dog turns on an owner - who can figure it out? Just happens sometimes... things inside the dog we don't know about. Same thing probably happened with her.

This girl totally wigged out on you, burglarized your home, and stole from you. I feel sorry for her. I think something inside of her was brewing and you just couldn't see it. To do all of this because another girl answers the telephone is ridiculous.

Please see that for what it is.

It's not that you can't trust women anymore - you just can't trust her. And yes, you should file charges against her and whatever creep she's seeing. If you haven't already, go to the police and get it done.

I know it's super disappointing... it sucks, dude. She's a b*tch. It's one thing for a girl to pitch a fit about something or to use another girl as an excuse to break up... But a felony?????

Breaking and entering and then burglary?

Get her prosecuted for this. Show her that she can't do this to you and get away with it.

I'm really sorry about this, confuseddude. Freaky things happen sometimes to end relationships - turns out, this was one of them.

You'll be ok... you'll be pissed off for a while and you won't understand it, but dude you better show her you won't take this. Show her that you command more respect than her stealing from you.

Your heart will mend. It will mend faster when you stand up for yourself and press charges against her.




Edited 6/9/2005 12:56 am ET ET by elysium2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 11:57pm
It's always hard to realize that the person you loved can turn on you. What your girlfriend did was inexcusable (not to mention illegal). If this is the kind of person she really is, you are so much better off to be out of that relationship. She is not a nice person. We all get upset or angry, but her behavior was completly unstable. I know you are upset, hurt, and sad, but after some time has gone by you will realize that this is not the type of person you want or need in your life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2005
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 4:07am
thanks for your posts...it made me feel temporarily better reading them! I guess that she is someone that i will never really know, i just cant get it that after 3 years she could act in such a strange way. No doubt there are some things that have really upset her in the past that i have done and that she has forgiven me for, but this is unthinkabe isnt it? I know there are some things that i need to work on with in myself that i never got around to, in order to make me a more well, healthy person mentally and emotionally but i just dont know where to start..and im scared aswell that i will never meet someone who showed me as much love as before. first loves are such a bummer man. This could be a long journey into a place ive never been before.