Started No Contact - very lost w/out him

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Started No Contact - very lost w/out him
17
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 6:44pm

Hi guys. Introduction: I am 23, my ex is 26. As I posted a while ago, I broke up with my boyfriend "N" three weeks ago because I loved him (we dated 1.5 years

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 5:43am

Vixen, oui oui, but at the same time, things are always easier said than done. Heck, when I was still with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, I could tell girls on here "Leave him and don't look back!", but now that it's happened to me, I am having a hard time following my own advice. It's different when it happens to you.


I got dumped on Friday. Well, not dumped as in permanently, but my bf wants a "break", and me being a person who doesn't trust, I doubt he'll ever call back or keep that promise. He said he'd call me in 2 weeks. I doubt that. However, when he said it, he meant it in the fact that we will have NO contact whatsoever for 2 weeks. No calls, no nothing. Well, then he went back on it and said we could still go out for my birthday, but I declined. But before he went back on it, he was suggesting we not talk, not see each other for 2 weeks to see if he can straighten himself out.


No contact sounds harsh. But then again, the more I think about it, the better it sounds than checking up on him or worrying. I am already worrying myself sick over what's happened, it would only be worse if I were to call him and I heard a loud bar and music in the backround, or even worse, a girl's voice. I am better off not worrying at all and trying to not think about it.

Sometimes, I guess there just aren't enough rocks...

Sometimes, I guess there just aren't enough rocks...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2007
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 2:28am
Sometimes I think you can love someone and feel lost without them and STILL it may not work.
I know that's how i feel.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 10:05pm
Yeah ... it's not so easy to just "get over someone" you were with a year and a half and were talking about marriage with, regardless of whether they were the right one for you or not. I loved N more than I had ever loved anyone. Everywhere all over the world, people fall in love and then have to break up. It's not exactly an easy process, but I'm not the only one this has happened to. I know people who have ended engagements for the same reason, but did they just "get over it" and move on? No! It's not THAT easy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2005
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 9:55am
What about closure? I talked to my ex and the day we broke up I told him I was ready to move on. Then we talked online and he said I really do care and want the best for you. Which only made me cry. Apparently he wanted to talk to get closure? What's left to talk about we broke up? I told him I was ready to move on the day we broke up? He then said two months after we broke up. "Well I guess you are ready to move on?" Yes life is too short to dance with ugly men.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 12:00pm
Closure is something you give yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 1:29pm

Usually the person doing the breaking has thought about it beforehand, so by the time the breakup actually occurs, their "closure" is actually the breaking up part.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 1:50am

Well Sandra, my ex and I got closure.

We met to exchange our stuff - just a short meeting in a neutral place, a mall, with lots of people around, and it went very well. We talked, we laughed, we both realized that already, in just a short month, we looked better than we ever did in our relationship. It showed that he was obviously stressed out too by our problems, but never wanted to admit it. We already are better off without each other, and it made me feel good to see him looking so well again.

We both said we were no longer angry with each other over what happened and we were finally able to reflect on the good times and be happy they happened. And then when he left, we agreed not to talk for a few months at least, until we're completely over one another. We may not end up being friends, but I know we will keep in touch and at least be friendly to one another.

I'm very sad that it'll be so long before we talk again (and every morning I still wake up on the verge of tears), but this is the best thing. I'm going on a beach vacation next week, and I can't think of any better way to recover.

Pages