Stay With Boyfriend or Go Back to Ex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2006
Stay With Boyfriend or Go Back to Ex?
4
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 11:51am

I am really confused myself at this point. I have a boyfriend that is okay, not the most romantic person and lacks certain qualities. But at the same time we've been together for 5 years and he has been there for me. He used to be mean to me and I'm still working on trusting him but we've been living together for so long that I just got used to him. I started to leave him several times but he always convinces me to stay. Meanwhile I have an ex-boyfriend that swears that he loves me sooo much even though he was the one that let me go for another woman. He has all of the qualities that my current boyfriend has and I find myself constantly weighing the two of them trying to figure out what is best for me. But now if I leave my boyfriend for him, I don't even have a legitimate reason as far as I'm concerned. Is there a such thing as leaving a man for what seems like a better opportunity? I find myself upset sometimes, I go through the motions trying to figure out what to do! Should I leave my current boyfriend for the sweet promise of the ex boyfriend that swears that he loves me so much? Or should I stay with the man that stayed by my side for 5 years that lacks the same qualities that I enjoy in my ex? I am so confused. Please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 3:27pm

hi sweetgalaxy

actually the answer to your question is in your POST ALREADY. YOU MENTION HE LET GO OF YOU COZ OF OTHER WOMAN. ARE YOU SURE HE WILL NEVER DO THE SAME AGAIN? WHAT GONNA HAPPEN IS HE WILL THINK YOU DO SAME THING WITH HIM COZ YOUR GOING TO CHOOSE HIM OVER YOUR 5YRS BF. SO WHAT GOES AROUND COME AROUND...SO THINK BEFORE YOU DO A BIG STEP..

GOOD LUCK

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 5:10pm
If you go back to the ex, how long do you think it would be before you got upset, had to deal with the fact that he left you for another woman? Those issues don't go away. If they haven't been resolved, sooner or later you will wonder why he came back, what happened with their relationship, how long before he looks for someone else, why weren't you enough to hold him in the first place? Not that any of his choices were your fault, but the joy of getting back together will be overshadowed by the doubts of the past that have not been dealt with.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2006
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 12:20pm
Thanks for your help, I decided to stay with my boyfriend after I went to meet up with my ex boyfriend to take one last look at the reasons why I should go back to him. And he was so unattractive to me all of the sudden! I realized that I really didn't want to be with him, I just gave him the opportunity to play games with my head over the phone like the grass is greener on the other side. You're right I can't get over the fact that he dropped me like a bad habit as soon as something else came along. Now that I've grown and I have more to offer, he acts like I'm the best thing in the world, but how long will that last? He says he wants to marry me and all of this stuff but I can't even respect some of methods that he has tried to get me. Thanks for helping me think through this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 12:39pm

Oh, I'm so happy for you!

This part:
but I can't even respect some of methods that he has tried to get me.

I've lived through that and can totally relate.


Carrie