staying friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2006
staying friends
4
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 6:54pm
Hi,

Has anyone been able to stay friends with their ex and not have any jealousy issues or weirdness between you two?? Me and my ex broke up after 4 year relationship and we were pretty close friends. Now he still wants to stay friends with me and keeps saying "you are my best friend". However, I am not sure I can handle seeing him with other women and still be able to maintain a true friendship. Any advice or insight on your experiences on this matter????
Thanks.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 8:34pm

I've been able to re-connect with exes as friends without jealousy...but only after a period of no contact so each of us can get over our romantic feelings for each other. To me, the test of whether you're ready to be friends with someone is whether you can talk to each other about the people you're dating and have it be fine. If you can't, you're not ready to be friends yet, IMO.

It's going to take you a while to get over someone you were in a 4 year relationship with, and if you try to be friends with him too soon, you'll just increase the amount of time it takes.

Think of it as postponing your friendship for the time being. But if you're truly friends, he'll understand and he'll be happy to hear from you when you're good and ready.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 5:20pm
The only times I have been able to stay friends with an ex-boyfriend was when I was completely over him and had no feelings for him what so ever. Staying friends with an ex is very difficult and I wouldn't recommend it unless your feelings for him are not deeper than a friendship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 7:06pm

i'm kinda close with my exbf now and its already been 7mths since we spilt up...i used to call him a lot and i got tired of it...so now most of the time his the one calling me...

onething i dont like me being friends with him is...him asking me about my love life...and for some reason we both DONT trust each other(he think i have someone and i think he does also...does kinda staff). so what i think being friend with our ex's is not a GOOD IDEA at all...only drama.

i'm just like you also i cant handle myself seeing him with someone...i'm not sure if i still like him/love him...i dont miss him that much like i used to miss him....ACTUALLY TO BE HONEST I'M CONFUSED...LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2006
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 11:15am
you can do it but it's not easy.i'm going to try again after having an affair with an old b/f who stayed friends and had an affair with for 4 years, which just ended, but he wants to go back to being friends.i am married.