Still have to live here, I am stressed!
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| Mon, 05-02-2005 - 2:35pm |
I just needed to vent here, sorry if I sound like a broken record.
My fiancee recently decided not to continue our 3 year relationship. That was last Saturday. Since then I have been trying to find a place to live. I live in a college town that has tons of rentals but they don't take pets. So I finally found a place to live that will let me have my animals but I can't move in for another 2 or 3 weeks. My fiancee agreed to let me stay here for this week but then I have to get a storage unit and find somewhere to stay until I can move in.
I am feeling lost and totally stressed out! He did not give me a reason why he wants to end it, am I crazy for wanting a reason? I told him I wanted to work on the relationship and he said he didn't know what he wanted. I guess maybe if I had a reason it would make everything a little easier to accept. I know the relationship is over but I am just so confused as to why it is over.
He says he still loves me, which confuses me more. Neither one of us has cheated on the other, (he says he hasn't and I believe him). Our relationship has had it's problems but nothing so major we couldn't have worked it out.
I am rambling and not making any sense. I just needed to get some stuff out I guess. Thanks for letting me vent.
It will get easier I hope.

I'm sorry for what you're going through, that must be so tough! I'm angry at your ex for you...what a jerk!!! HE should be staying with a friend or something temporarily until you can move...it's SOOOO utterly unacceptable of him to break up with you...and expect YOU to move out right away. Talk about adding insult to injury...
In any event, no, you're not crazy for wanting a reason...but you're not likely to get one, or at least not one that makes sense. HE can't even put it into words, I'm sure. But there's some combination of tangible and intangible factors (MANY of which almost certainly have more to do with HIM than they do with you) that has caused him to decide that the two of you are not right for each other. THAT is what you need to focus on...you're not right for each other. Love isn't enough...you can love someone (and vice versa) who just isn't right for you.
I've gotten reasons...and they really don't make things easier. They just cause more questions. Focus on acceptance...and on what a RUDE person he is to make things so difficult on you at such a difficult time.
Sheri
P.S. I hope he *at least* has the courtesy to pay for the storage unit!!!
aneokly...
First...you have a very interesting name!
I know my ex-fiancee "took me in" out of kindness. I honestly don't have anywhere to go. After this week, I am going to board my two dogs and one of my friends offered to take my cat for a week. all I can do is deal with it. It is very uncomfortable being in the same house as him. Most of my stuff is packed and I am sleeping on the couch. He is giving me my space, but I am so exhausted and stressed out that I am usually sleeping on the couch by 9:00pm. I know he probably won't give me a reason why, other than what he already has but it just makes it so hard for me not knowing the REAL reason why. I guess I will choose to move on and deal with things instead of making it more difficult by trying to get an answer. Because the bottom line is-it's over.
It is better to know now then 2 or 3 years down the road after marriage. I know he still has feelings for me and that we are trying to end things the best way we can. I just want it to be over so I can have my own bed, and my own things around me. I have my animals that have nothing but unconditional love for me.
Thank you for your input, everything you said is helping me deal with this.
*I received the nickname Annie Oakley when I was little, my mom called me Annie and everybody just started calling me Oakley. I do actually enjoy shooting guns but I am not anywhere near the "caliber" that the real Annie Oakley was. :)
Sorry, I'm confused by something you and PG said...he "took you in"? So, you weren't living together before the breakup?
If that's the case, then I take back what I said, but if you WERE living together, then he's treating you VERY shabbily, IMO. HE should be sleeping on the couch, not you! He's the one who broke up with you...he's already caused you a whole bunch of pain by doing so, so for him to not work to make the transition as (relatively) painless for you as possible (including him staying with friends during the transition time) is just mean and selfish.
Sheri
Oh, my gosh, what a BUTTHEAD! Your boss is SO right...he's NO gentleman. Not only should he be letting you stay in the house while he stays elsewhere, he should TOTALLY be paying for things like the storage unit, boarding etc, because HIS choice to break up is what's causing you to have to incur those expenses.
I hope his outrageous behavior will help convince you that he's NOT right for you. Write all of this down...it'll help you to remember it a few months down the road when all you can remember are the good times.
Hang in there...it will be over soon.
Sheri
Thanks for your encouragment. I don't feel quite so crazy!!