still overwhelmed

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
still overwhelmed
5
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 7:18pm

so, as of yesterday, i made it through one month of no contact (no e-mails, texts or calls from either of us). i suppose it's a tiny bit easier now that i don't feel compelled to call him all the time. but, it's still difficult as a whole and hurts like nothing i've ever experienced. i have no idea what's going on with him, where he is, how he is, if he's happy/safe/????? it really bugs me. even though we're not together, doesn't mean i stopped loving him or caring about him.


this all just drives me insane. when i remember that we're not together, i can't breathe. when i think about how it all ended, i get nauseated. when i remember the good times we had, i cry harder.


i know time heals all, but i feel that i've reached a plateau despite my efforts to make things better.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2006
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 7:43pm




oh, showtime....look how much better you sound! Your thoughts are visibly clearer, your mind isnt racing a mile a minute, and your not angry anymore. You arent bargaining with yourself on ways to win him back...you arent denying that this is final (and HEALTHY).


you are, however, going through the greif faze. one thing you need to remember is that this is OKAY and TOTALLY NORMAL. you will get through this. Just know (...here come a cliche) that this is a case where there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. you werent cheated on, you werent abused, you werent lied to or belittled.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 7:59pm
Although I'm sure it seems like an eternity, a month is not that long. You may feel that you've plateaued, and I think we all feel that way when we're not progressing as fast as we'd like. But whether you realize it or not, you are getting better all the time. I'll bet you in the next week or so you'll be able to see or think about something related to your relationship or breakup and notice significantly less pain and distress. Think of it like a physical wound. If you stared at it long enough you'd swear it wasn't healing, but it is, cell by cell. It's like what my grandmother used to say about a watched pot never boiling. It does boil, it just seems like it takes forever. That's why you need to start distracting yourself with other thoughts and activities. That's the only way you'll notice the improvement. Take care, it will get better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 8:29pm

thanks for the encouragement. just gotta give it some time i guess.


part of me really wants to reach out and at the very least determine whether he's ok (the last time, he sounded really bad, despite his insistence that he was happy). the other part, steeped in pride, is

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 5:23am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2007
Fri, 11-16-2007 - 10:02am
One month of stiffling the don't-contact-him monster is a huge accomplishment.