still so hard to deal
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still so hard to deal
| Fri, 10-05-2007 - 10:19am |
It's 4:08 in the morning right now and I went out with some friends tonight and I have to say, I am a little intoxicated (I don't usually drink), but after being out all night with friends, I realize how much I miss my ex. I wanted to be with him the whole time and even had the urge to text him to say how much I miss him, but I didn't. I couldn't stop myself from going on his myspace earlier and I was just extremely sad after looking at it. I don't think I can actually delete him, but I really need to stop looking at it. It's been 4 weeks and one day since we've been broken up, and it's making me even more depressed knowing that he just doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. I keep thinking that I have accepted this, although I know for sure he isn't going to come back. It's just hard to imagine that somebody you thought you would be with for the rest of your life would suddenly decide they weren't into you anymore. I don't think I will ever find what we had together. I know people say, "you won't have what you had with him, but you can have something just as important and meaningful and even better in the future". But, all I wanted was to have what we had, nothing more. I hate knowing that he's going to find somebody else that will make him happy. Everything was so great, at least it was to me. Goodnight everybody. I will see him in my dreams I am sure.

well a lot of people will tell you to hurry up and move on or that he wasn't worth it, but the fact of the matter is that the end of a relationship is often the death of a dream you thought would last forever. It's not that easy to let go.
sweet dreams then :D
Hi neko_hi,
I'm going to give you some Tough Love, k?
I can't believe I'm up already after only 4.5 hours, I feel like I never went to sleep. I couldn't stay asleep because I just remembered again that he's not with me. :(
Yes, MySpace is evil! I face a Facebook, and I like to look at his profile on there because it still says he's in a relationship (he doesn't go on it at all so he didn't change the settings when we broke up), and it makes me feel so good. It's pretty sad that I do that, haha.