Still struggling with the breakup

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2006
Still struggling with the breakup
2
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 12:39pm
Last I wrote I was recently dumped, blindsighted is more like it. A short recap, I'm 39 and was dating a man 46, divorced with 3 kids, for 3 months. Things were going great, or so I thought, then he came to me to say he's been feeling so guilty because he doesn't have time to put 100% into a relationship and that I deserve 100%. Between trying to get his business off the ground and trying to spend as much time with his kids as possible, he just doesn't have the time. It's been a month already and am still struggling with it.
I know this week his kids are on Vaca and are away. I'm dying to call him and ask if he wants to hang out. Someone please give me some advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 2:45pm

hi shredder

dont do that control yourself to call him. if you think you deserved better than the way he treat you. so you have to move on...let me ask you something please answer this to yourself be honest......are you happy that you give yourself 100% of your time and him not even 1% of his time. is that what you really want in relationship?

actually to honest with you dear if he really love/care about you. he will do what ever it takes just to be with you. what i think if a person dont want to be with you at all they do all the bull sh..t excuses. TRY TO SEEK FOR THE TRUTH!!!

good luck dear

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 7:44pm
Hi Shredder - I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know it's a nightmare trust me. Still going through it too after two months. Just wanted to offer you my two cents. I'm 41 and my fiance of nearly 6 yrs. just ended things with me. He is 43 and also is divorced with 3 kids. I'm not sure how long your boyfriend has been divorced, maybe it's been awhile but just the same if he is anything like mine was in the beginning he definitely had so much guilt about the kids being a priority. He still does actually. It may have nothing at all to do with you but just the fact that he's trying to reassure himself that his kids are important. He may just have a lot of mixed emotions going on. I know it sounds hard but in the situation which is very delicate, try not to take it personally. Hope that helps a bit, and best of luck.