still together... but now what?
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still together... but now what?
| Mon, 10-29-2007 - 3:33pm |
i wrote last week that I was going through a breakup... well, it really turned out to be a short break (week).

Ok, hopefully others will help me here - brainstorm what you can do ALONE for the next two months. I remember the first time I lived alone, it was horrible.
My thoughts are to let him go. This gives him the opportunity to meet someone else, or at least HE can begin his healing process. It's unfair to him to keep him around becaues your friends aren't there for you. I know this sounds harsh, but in a way it seems like you're using him just because...
You don't seem to love him anymore. Lots of us have been on his side of the fence. I would HATE the thought that someone was with me just because they were killing time.
I was in a different province for 8 weeks over the summer going to graduate school, and I didn't know anyone! I did sightseeing/touristy things, window shopped, went to a local bar once a week and sat at the bar while playing the interactive trivia game. I met a lot of people coming in to pick up their take-out order. I did some reading of self-help books. I signed up at a local gym with a personal trainer and worked out with her once a week (her and I became friends). I went to movies by myself, restaurants by myself, sometimes just sat on one of the buses and traveled around the city to see the sights. I saw concerts at local bars, outdoor performances of Shakespeare, and sampled the beer at the beer festival. Even though I was away from my boyfriend (now ex), I didn't miss him that much, and I forgot that I was 'alone' in a new city.
thank you so much you all... the ideas and just examples of people being able to do things alone helped me out.
......"I am not using the person, I do enjoy the relationship (what is left) at times, and maybe I'm settling at the moment, but its not purely using this person.".....
Sorry to disagree, but I have to raise a bit of a BS flag on that. You are most definitely using this person.
From the first post on this thread:
1. plus I don't really see a future for he & I. Nothing is truly wrong w/ us, it's just he isn't the person for me.
2. last week was so rough on me, and i realized our relationship is pretty much dead. We're still together because we agreed to be together the next two months until I move.
3. honestly, I would've stayed broken up w/ him, if I had any sort of friends (real ones that is) that I could pass the time with.
4. My friends are all sucked into their own relationship worlds, so I basically have no one unless they decide to go out... since im moving its not like i can make new single ones, so I'm really stuck. and sad.
5. i dont whats worse anymore. continuing the dead relationship for two more months because I have no one else... or just being totally alone and feeling like crap for two months until i move.
6. i basically feel like im broken up with my boyfriend because i've just lost all energy to work anything out w/ him, and I'm really sick of being with him.
7. Im the one who is choosing to sell myself short because im too wimpy to totally cut things off with my boyfriend. i dont know what to do anymore?
For any ONE of these reasons, you should do the right thing and break up with the guy. How sad to have someone be with you only because they have nothing better to do. For what it's worth, he does sound pretty clueless, (vacation with the ex-gf? wow) which I'm sure led to you losing all feelings for him besides what, apathy? That is the direct opposite of love, you know. However, just because you don't feel anything for him anymore and he's just too lazy to stay broken up from now on doesn't give you a free pass to use the guy. If he won't get off his duff, you do it. You'd be amazed at how light your soul will feel when you do that. You'll be opening the path to you for "the one" you're sure this guy is not.
Good luck,