Still Trying to Move On
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Still Trying to Move On
| Fri, 08-10-2007 - 10:59am |
I had previously posted on here my situation about moving on after a break up.
Getting through the panic attacks, not sleeping or eating, crying and denial.
It has been 6 weeks since he told me he couldn't do the LDR anymore because it hurts him to see me. Then he left messages saying he did love, miss and want to see me more than anything. One week later he called to say he was seeing someone from his bank.
That was exactly 1 week ago today.
I dont feel as bad as I originally did, everyday seems a little easier but I am still having a hard time with all the unanswered questions that I have for him. Even though I know he will not have the answers/replies that I am looking for.
N/C is extremly hard for me but I have made it this week. I just know I will never hear from him again and that is what hurts the most.
He told me numerous times, what a great person I am, he knows that! He doesn't respect me enough as a friend to call?
I think I am in complete denial about him and this situation.
Getting through the panic attacks, not sleeping or eating, crying and denial.
It has been 6 weeks since he told me he couldn't do the LDR anymore because it hurts him to see me. Then he left messages saying he did love, miss and want to see me more than anything. One week later he called to say he was seeing someone from his bank.
That was exactly 1 week ago today.
I dont feel as bad as I originally did, everyday seems a little easier but I am still having a hard time with all the unanswered questions that I have for him. Even though I know he will not have the answers/replies that I am looking for.
N/C is extremly hard for me but I have made it this week. I just know I will never hear from him again and that is what hurts the most.
He told me numerous times, what a great person I am, he knows that! He doesn't respect me enough as a friend to call?
I think I am in complete denial about him and this situation.

This is what bothers me the most.
I know I am the best thing he will ever have. He knows what a great person I am and how much I have done for him and he dumped me?
Seriously, I am not an arrogant person. I just cant make sense of this.
I wouldn't really say it's something we need to understand, if you get my drift.
Rebounds, well, I think they're a lot like ice cream. It feels good while it lasts, but you feel the effects afterward. I'm not crushing rebounds, but I see it as more like the desperate move of someone who can't be alone.
If it's comforting, I find that it takes more strength to be single and REMAIN single while you're working through the pain than to bandage it with a string of girls. It's not fair to those girls because you can't give them the relationship they deserve.
And the fact that you are a great person is a good thing. It means that you have the capacity to be just as wonderful a girlfriend for the next lucky guy that gets you. You should remember that all the good things you do in a relationship are good things that you TAKE WITH YOU when you leave.
You are right to feel confused as it absolutely does NOT make sense. My Ex Bf said I am wonderful/smart/etc.... BUT that did not stop him from booting me out of his life. It is great that you have all those qualities and you will have so much to offer the next time to someone who will appreciate you. I know it hurts, I know it is mind boggling, and it most definitely does not make sense. It is totally his problem that for whatever reason, he can't be with you. I am experiencing the same exact thing and all I can tell you is that it does get better with time. Be good to yourself, get out there with friends, take a class..whatever gets you out there. I was only broken up a week or so and I signed up for a divorce support group social. I still cry every so often, I still can't listen to music and I still Love him but I won't be doing myself any favors to not at least try to do some things I will enjoy. I was at a Golf Club with friends and many cute guys were there and Big Deal is how I feel now... I still want HIM but he doesn't want me and one day I will go on a date and maybe it will suck but at least I'll have new experiences and maybe new friends where there is no Romance.
I met my Ex BF when I wasn't expecting it... In my case I tell myself that maybe my EX is my "Prince Charming" and in time it will come back but until then I chose to be open to Life's possibilities. I don't want to waste time pining for a guy who maybe wasn't the Real Thing and pass up the one who is out there who Is the "One".
I have to Work Really Hard to take all my own advice that I just shared with you. It is not easy but I have to go on and I am already better than I was. You will get there and everyone on this board is at some different level as far as their pain. Let those tears out when you must (I just did that for an hour!) But then keep yourself going.
I mentioned that I googled the new GF and was almost pleased that I found out she was 21, single parent, living at home.
As I was on my way out the door to buy It's Called a Breakup because its Broken, I decided to Google her one more time.
The info I found out last time, had me convinced that he made it all up. She lived too far, etc.
Well, now I found that someone who lives 12 miles from him, closer to his age, with the same name.
I am physically sick, he has moved on and I am cyber stalking someone who doesn't think I am apparently worthy of him.
Why did I do this?
My ex also mentioned several times that he was intimidated my me and my success. I own 2 homes (one is a vacation home), etc.
I know I deserve this for snooping.
Take it easy on me, I already know I screwed up BIG TIME!!
Or really I would like to hear from him.
This is 10 days of N/C except for googling the new GF. Why do I feel so worthless?
Why is this so hard? I think I am holding out that the new GF is not really a GF and he is going to ask me to come visit, which is stupid for me to even consider.
I wish I could wake up and this nightmare would be over.
Get off the computer. Go for a run. I promise it's as good as a stiff drink with none of the regret afterwards.
the GF business is probrably hard because it's your point of no-return (even though you've actually hit that point already). She's your indication that he's NOT COMING BACK. Hope is a sick sick sick thing sometimes. Exercise to kill hope: Tell yourself...He's already dating a girl. He has a girlfriend already (It doesn't matter if it's true in real life, just assume it is).
good luck!
Susanna