Stupid, stupid, stupid...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2008
Stupid, stupid, stupid...
4
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 4:02am

I was going through withdrawls. I asked a mutual friend if my ex has mentioned me at all. She said he hasn't mentioned ANYTHING since we first broke-up!


Seriously?! After 5 weeks he hasn't mentioned me at all?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 11:50am

It doesn't mean you were expendable. Men are waaaaaay different than women. I know it's hard not to think that his lack of talking about you means he didn't care, but really, I think the more hurt men are, the less they talk. Everyone handles grief differently. Also, because it's a mutual friend, he might not say anything because he doesn't want it to get back to you.

The best thing you can do for yourself RIGHT NOW is to not worry what he is thinking and concentrate on yourself and your healing. :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 11:52am

You're taking it personally,, and I don't think your ex thought you were expendable. Even if that were the case, you are better off now rather than staying w/ someone who thought this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 5:50pm
I agree that guys are really different than girls when it comes to this break up stuff. More than likely he is just keeping quiet about the whole thing. He probably doesn't even talk to his closest friends about it in fear that he won't look like a man or that he might ACTUALLY have feelings. He may also not being grieving in a healthy way which will just make more problems for him in any future relationships. Just go through the process yourself and you'll be doing you and your future boyfriends/husband a favor by healing healthfully.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 6:06pm

Lots of people, but men in particular, don't say anything when they're hurting for fear of being lableled weak or emotional. He probably didn't want anything he said to get back to you. Or it could also be that this mutual friend is not his "go-to" person for ultra-personal things, you just don't know.

When my ex and I broke up, he told no one. Not even his sister whom he's very close to. He bore his sadness on his own, and I felt badly for him not being able to unload his feelings to anyone. It helps to be able to talk to friends, doesn't it? Some people can't even bring themselves to do that.

I'd assume something like that instead of thinking your ex didn't care.

Good luck,

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