Sudden break up

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2007
Sudden break up
2
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 2:47am

We'd been together for 7 months and everything was great. We were still ahving sex as often as ever and socialising like always. We were supposed to go out to dinner on Tuesday evening but at about 3.30 she sent me a text message saying "we need to talk." I phoned her straight away, hoping that it wasn't what I thought. She said she didn't want to do it over the phone so I left work and went straight to hers. I was devestated, I was (am) in love with this girl and I couldn't believe it was over. No warning, no depreciation in the relationship. The only reasons she could give me were "I just can't be in a relationship right now" and "my feelings have changed." I told her my feelings hadn't (still haven't) but it didn't make any difference. Half-an hour later we were hugging goodbye at her front door, she was starting to cry and so was I. I walked away.

I sent her a letter the next day telling her how much I loved her and how difficult this was for me. I don't know if she will have seen it yet because she was planning to go home for a little while.

And now I'm thinking that I need to see her again, the breakup seemed too quick, half-an hour. The only communications since then has been the letter but I don't really expect her to reply to that even when she does see it.

Should I call her? Should I speak to her? The relationship seemed so perfect, everyone thought we were a great couple and we didn't seem to have any problems. She'd met my parents and I'd met hers. She was at my house for a party on Saturday, we spent the night together and hung out for a bit on Sunday morning before she went to her Mum's. I just don't understand how her feelings could change so suddenly. She said she'd been getting short with me for a while but I hadn't noticed it, we were the same as ever.

Please, I need some advice, this is the first girl I ever fell in love with and it's breaking me up inside. I don't want to loose her but what can I say to "my feelings have changed"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
In reply to: unlucky8
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 3:06am

Hi unlucky8

So sorry this has happened to you. Im going through the same thing myself I know what a shock it can be. She obviously has had something at the back of her mind for a little while causing her to have some doubts.

I know its hard but the best advice is to just give her some space. She may just need some more time to think. Let her miss you for a while, dont contact her and in the meantime focus on looking after yourself. It couldnt have been easy for her to admit she was unsure to someone she obviously cares about, so it says a lot about her that she had the decency to say it in person. It hurts like hell when its someone you are crazy about but you must begin taking steps to heal yourself.

There isnt really anything you can say when someones says thier feelings have changed. Maybe she thought things were moving a bit fast and needed to back off a little. Try not to drive yourself mad with questions. Im sure once things have settled down a bit you can have a proper dissussion

Take care

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: unlucky8
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 4:00pm

Welcome to the board unlucky8,


It's really hard to accept something we don't want.