suddenly...nothing

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
suddenly...nothing
2
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 3:37am

Hi,

I guess I'll just try to jump right into what my issue is.

I met a guy online, had approximately 2 years of chatting every night, a few phone calls, declarations of love on both of our parts and him deciding that he was leaving his country and coming to mine.

I was all for it and when he got here, things seemed to be great. He had a 6 month visa and worked for himself, so he just set up his computer and off he went. We lived together for the 6 months and it felt like we'd always been together. We spent 24/7 together because I also work from home.

His 6 months came to an end and he'd made mention of possibly applying for an extension or just leaving the country for 6 months then coming back.

We never really discussed any details of things like that. We just 'were'.

Anyhow, he mentioned that he had to leave about 5 days before the day. I was fine with it, but sad. He reassured me that he'd be back or that we'd meet up somewhere.

He kept in touch daily, as we did before he moved here, while he went from one city to another, making his way across the new country he is in. Then about 5 weeks later, his messages became shorter and they just felt somehow different. I started to feel that something wasn't quite right, so I told him that I didn't like the way that I was feeling and that I didn't know how I fit into his plans.

His reply was that I was his number one and things seemed to be more like they had been. Then a few days later things seemed different to me again. The messages were shorter and less. Then, nothing. I did message him once, with no reply.

I think my intuition is right in that I think he doesn't want to continue this relationship. I guess I just need someone else to hit me in the side of the head too.

dazed

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 10:59am
I have no answers for you except to say that I am currently going through a very similar thing: I knew my guy for 18 years and two years ago met up again- he lived 800 miles away = we also talked and communicated almost every day with declarations of love- He suggested moving in together as soon as I returned from my vacation in February. He literally loved me one day then NEVER heard from him since(Oh I received one phone call more then a month ago apoligizing for not calling because he is tired and it is not me) that was 6 weeks agao- I cannot know how someone can be loving, acting honest, declaring their desire for you one day then: GONE???? How do you deal with this??? So I do understand what you are going through. Its just a feeling-but you do KNOW that something is not right- Trust you gut feeling????
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 12:49pm

Hey there,
I had a bit of a similar situation, not exact though. But what I can tell you is trust your intuition. You are right in believing things don't feel the same, something's up with him. Do whatever it is you need to to protect yourself, because he's obviously taking care of his own needs, world and excluding you from it. It sounds like he's trying to slowly back out of this relationship, but that is just my observation from what you wrote.

If him not writing you back bothers you (of course it should), then you are either going to have to write him the make or break email or just move on without him. It sucks, I know, but i'm seeing a lot of what I went thru and I'm trying to spare you from the pain I experienced. The more you let slide, the harder the recovery.

Just my 2 cents!

Keep us updated :)