With tears and a broken heart
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With tears and a broken heart
| Tue, 07-12-2005 - 10:02am |
The title of this discussion is what I signed off an email to him with. I am so very sad right now. I feel different levels of sadness from time to time, from having a really hard time to being in pain with tears rolling down my face (like right now) to feeling merely wistful :( Whichever form it's in the sadness is constant. It'll be alleviated sometimes if a friend makes me laugh, but I feel sad again immediately after. It's Tuesday morning, and I left on Friday afternoon, so the breakup is very new and fresh. It also doesn't help that I sent him an email last night saying that it was a comfort for me just to be emailing him, to have indirect communication with him, I also wrote in the email that if it made him uncomfortable he should tell me and I wouldn't email him anymore, and he replied and in BOLD TYPE (I just read it a few hours ago) asked me to please not email him anymore, also that he changed his mind about packing my things for me, and that he was going to change the locks, and there's only one day when I can come get my things. WAAAAAAAAH! I'm in a crappy little room until the end of the month, after that I don't know, I've had to ask my dad to help me get a cell phone, I haven't had to ask my dad for cash for almost two years, I'm also going to the pawn shop for the first time in a while :( and everybody (except for the one friend I told about our problems) thinks we were doing really really good, with mutual respect and the whole nine. Wwe were engaged, I still wore the ring (on my right hand) until this morning, it's in my pocket now. I still loove him and he still loves me. But he's not asking me back, and this breakup is final. Please, any responses would be greatly appreciated! I work graveyard shifts and I get incredibly lonely, depressed and sad. The internet hepls me stay sane, and makes me fel supported. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

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I totally agree with this advice - not that I'm a relationship expert by any means (as you can see from my posts!!!!). But one of the few really good things I did when my ex dumped me was to stand up to him and say no I didnt' want to stay in touch with him as my life was going really well and I was really happy. Most of this was a slight enhancement on the truth but hell, I have my self respect to think of!
And it can't hurt to lead him to think that you've moved on and are happy and busy - too busy in fact to reply to his emails or phone calls. As they say unless you make room in your life, the next person you're meant to be with won't be able to enter.
so tell him how busy and happy you are in the next email and dare I say even fib and tell him you've met someone really great (who doesn't have hangups about commitment!) and then dont' reply to him anymore. YOu'll feel enormously better by doing this. I truly hope so anyway and it worked for me.
Louise
I feel like a bit of a foney (sp?) replying to these messages becaue I've been such a mess myself and so hurt and immobilised by pain for so many months. When my b/f left me I went to pieces - I stayed home for about a month crying, drinking, I nearly lost everything - my business the lot. But I was devastated and he had put me through so much over especially the previous few months that I was beside myself.
However - how do you start to feel better? By focusing on what a jerk this guy was - and he was! One minute he's telling you all this dribble about how you're the best thing to happen to him and the next he doesn't want the commitment?! Yes I agree with him - IT IS ALL HIM! totally.
You need to get really angry and focus on how messed up he obviously is becuase his behaviour is certainly not normal.
so focus on how you don't really want to be with someone who behaves so badly and is obviously so messed up - and let him know that you have moved on and are really happy. That will really help you feel better and give your self esteem a boost. If all you have left is your self respect - which is how I felt - then do something about it. I did. I told him how happy I was and how much better I was and how I'd met someone really great (which was a fib but what the hell!). And I can not tell you how much better I felt telling him this.
Louise xxdx
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