Tell him WHY I don't want to be friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Tell him WHY I don't want to be friends?
7
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 5:50pm

Ok, I got some advice as to telling him the NC thing.


I don't want to be his friend b/c I don't want friends like him. I typed up this whole email to send him to tell him why I don't want to be friends, but now I am scared. Am I scared b/c some how, I WANT him to call me? Am I afraid of what he will say? WHY am I hesitant to do it?


I'm already alone, so it's not like there is a chance we will get together again.


I guess I just want him to know that he hurt me.


Or is that pathetic and I should just email him this: I don't want to be your friend.


And end it at that?


I am so pathetic, it's sad.LOL

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 6:51pm

I would go with a simple, it's too hard on me to try to be friends at this time so I will contact you when I'm ready

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Wed, 11-21-2007 - 7:23pm

So, "I don't want to be friends right now" will work.LOL


I just don't want him to think he has power over me by making me uncomfortable or unable to be friends.


I guess I just worry about my pride.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 12:08am
Doing what's right about you has nothing to do with saving face or trying to show him anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 8:34am

Ok I am old fashioned (cuz I am old), but telling someone something that is important to you should be done in person face to face.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 11:22am

Well, I was working up the nerve to tell him, but then he did it for me.


He texted me something, as usual, and then I asked "Why do you want to be friends?". I thought it was pretty simple, but he went off. Texting me back talking about he didn't want to ruin his or my Thanksgiving with silly sh-t. Then said we won't be friends.


I told him that was fine by me because I just asked a question. I told him not to worry about hearing from me. He then told me not to call him back to back b/c his daughter was sleeping. Like I said, I told him I don't want to talk to him anymore. I then told him I did that in the past, but I got my backbone back. I don't need him.


He is going to need me before I need him.


I don't care if he got upset b/c of that question. He probably thought I was going to start crying, but I am stronger now and I could care less if I never hear from him again. He always jumps to the extreme and expects me to to crawl back to him.


No thanks.


I would rather be alone and spend the next 50 Thanksgivings and Christmases alone before I go back to him.


I have pride and i refuse to be with someone who treats me like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 10:03am

....."I have pride and i refuse to be with someone who treats me like that."..... "...or be friends with," you might insert ;)

Ah see, that's all you needed this whole time. Me personally, I don't go in for telling someone (especially an ex) how hard things are on me because of what they've done to me, or of telling them they've been able to hurt me somehow. Maybe that's not pop-psych chic, but that's me, and I ain't changin that ;)

Good luck to you,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 8:58pm

I am doing SOOO good right now. It may be a little sad, cause I got another guys attention, but every little bit helps. LOL.


After his tirade, I know all I need to know.