Tell me not to call!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tell me not to call!
4
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 9:53pm
I have been doing so good with no contact. He hasn't bothered to call me. Why is it so tempting to pick up the phone?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 10:10am

Ahhhhh, I am wrestling with the same thing this very moment!!

It is a difficult thing... you feel strong enough not to contact him - yet why the heck is he being so strong as to not contact you?

My ex and I split almost 3 weeks ago, and its been since Tuesday that we have had no contact. During our prior breakups, in about a few days he would be calling me, texting, emailing me non-stop to try to get me back. This time, he hasn't attempted it even once and it's kind of disheartening.

What I am trying to focus on is WHY we broke up and the logical reasons why we should not get back together again. Try doing that.... If you can come up with the logical reasons for being apart, then there should be no reason for you to contact him or vice versa.

Then go do something to take your mind off of it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 1:59pm
Apart from the fact it was a long distance relationship and I was the one who was dumped, there IS no logical reason.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 2:09pm

Well, there's two right there. Long-distance creates its own set of obstacles, and someone who is right for you wouldn't dump you!

A couple things that have helped me to not call:

Pride--if he wanted to talk to me and be with me, he'd be calling to patch things up; the fact that he's not speaks volumes. Why would I chase after someone who doesn't want me?

Working on acceptance--someone who was right for me wouldn't have broken up with me in the first place. The sooner I accept that, the sooner I'll be over it.

Reality check--I know from experience that having any contact with an ex just starts the clock running again on getting over him.

Making commitments to friends or a counselor--if I'm really having trouble, I'll make a commitment to someone important to me that I won't call for X days (the most days I feel I can handle at that time). Then I renew it when I reach the end of that time, etc.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 3:07pm
Do Not Call!! I know it's hard, but I have had to come to terms with the fact if they can easily forget you then that says a whole lot!! The reason they don't call is that they cannot face you yet or don't have anything to say to you that will explain what and why they did what they did you, because they will never tell you the truth. So forget about it, move on and tear up pictures, numbers and all forms of reminders so you can start fresh. Everything begins new from today!!