Tell me what you guys think about this

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tell me what you guys think about this
14
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 11:23am
Hi! I've been on an on/off relationship with the same guy for 2 yrs now. I called it on/off coz we see each other probably once a month but talked on the phone every week, the reason was him being so busy w/ study, work and 2 kids. We've been through a lot of rough times, in the beginning of us being together - there was a girl trying to break us up, in the middle - the mother of his kids wants him back and she tried to break us up. After the incident with the mother of his kids, I felt like we were stronger, he talked to me a lot about marriage and having kids, i've always told him that i'm not ready for that coz I wanna be successful in my career then settle down when i'm established. Then everything was never mentioned again, the calls got lesser, seeing each other also became lesser, we even resorted to emailing each other. I emailed him about my feelings, that he doesn't have time for me anymore, he emailed back that he was really busy and it all came to a huge petty argument, I said if you don't want to see me then don't and his last reply was if that's the way you want things to be then that's the way they're gonna be. I haven't heard from him since then, I was trying to contact him to clear things up and maybe to find out where we are in this relationship. No answer at all, phone calls, emails. Then the other night a girl returned my call and she was very mean, she told me things like he's over you so get over it then I heard a guy laughing in the background and they even tried to kiss while I was listening on the other end. I was stunned, hurt, disrespected but I wouldn't stoop down to their level and say something stupid. In short, I was devastated, I couldn't sleep at all and all I could think about is why can't he be a man to tell me that its really over, there's already a girl and hurt me just like that. All i'm asking for is to let me know what's going on and if he doesn't want to be with me then i'll move on but he never said anything and now this. Are there guys who's really doesn't care about our emotions, leave you hanging and just figure it all by yourself. I just want to get this out of my chest.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 1:02pm
Hey Laura, don't worry I know what you mean. I've known this guy for quite a while now and we're just friends, besides he has a gf. I've made it clear to myself that i'm not going to enter a relationship until i've completely heal myself of my past heartache. I'm also not going to sleep with guys just to forget about my ex. That wouldn't be fair with him and I might end up regretting it. I've been like that for as long as I could remember. I also set up standards for myself so that in the future, I won't be treated badly again. Thanks for the concern and advice. Take care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2004
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 1:24pm
Hey pattine,
Great, it sounds like you have a good confidante! You're very wise to put off future relationships for now. Have a great day!
Laura
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Mon, 12-26-2005 - 9:22pm
Hi guys just an update: its been 3 wks now of doing NC and so far so good except last saturday I was checking my email and finally my ex emailed me offering an explanation about the whole phone call thing. He wish me happy holiday and told me that he just got off from school thats why he got time to check his email. He said that he doesn't have a phone and the phone belongs to his brother who got problems with his credit that's why they use his name and because of me calling, his brother and his gf got into a fight so, his brother was asking him if he gave the number to anyone. Basically, he was only borrowing the phone every once in a while. He told me that I could be mean sometimes on my emails and that scares him. Also, not to call that phone again and if I need to talk just email him, and stop trippin and stop being possesive. It's a lot of BS, I mean after 3 wks, I only got an email not even a phone call. I was like whatever and ignored it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 1:17pm

You are TOTALLY right. I can't imagine how he would have the balls to send that completely bogus email.

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