texted him after two weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
texted him after two weeks
9
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 9:46pm

Ok, so after my ex told me he needed a "break" and time to think about us and he doesn't know if he loves me anymore, we decided to give it a rest for two weeks and then he would call. Well, two weeks went by and he didn't call so I texted him asking for my stuff back.

He texted me back saying hes sorry he didn't call but he didn't know what to say. So I said he could have just called me to catch up and we didn't have to talk about "our relationship" or anything serious, I just wondered how he was and what he was up to. He said he was ok and how was I (in a text). I said you can call me, and he made up some excuse about how his family was at his house all weekend and he wouldn't have a chance to talk for a few days. So I said I'm not dealing with this anymore, just give me my stuff back and we went back and forth and he said I knew he wanted his time to think and he still doesn't know what he wants. I told him he can either call me on tuesday, or just drop off my stuff, it was up to him. He said he'll call on tuesday and thats where we've left it for now.

I am SO ANGRY at him right now. I'm between punching a wall and crying my eyes out. I know I shouldn't have texted him but I really just want to slap him and tell him i'm done with his crap...its just hard to let go of a hope for us to work it out.

What do I do? When he calls on Tuesday I don't want to start talking to him about our relationship and getting all serious because I think it would help us to just talk without dealing with it right now. What is his PROBLEM??? Please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 1:02am

Hi justgo2007,


I have a feeling reading this will give you some insight:


When he asks for space (aka, "a break")

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 8:19am

Thanks Carrie. I read that before and thought I would be ok, but when he didn't call when he said he would I lost it. I'm getting so tired with his excuses...if he has to think about if he wants to be with me, why should I want to be with him? But I love him so much and even though I know hes not perfect for me and we have a lot of problems, I still feel like he IS perfect for me.

I made a big mistake last night and hooked up with someone else...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 11:08am

Yikes on the hook-up.....


Read this thread for the other side of the story so to speak - she's the one that asked for a break and couldn't understand his reaction (sorta like yours and understandable).

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 1:01pm
Thanks again Carrie. But...now I'm pretty worried about this hook up. He'll be calling me on Tuesday..should I tell him what I did? Or lie? What if we end up getting back together? I'm scared maybe one of his roommates saw it happen and could report it back to him and that will be the end of us and our chances together, even though we ARE technically broken up and it wasn't cheating. What do I do????
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 2:03pm

Are you sure he's going to call this time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 11:43am

After reading your post under the 'when he asks for space' post - and I wanted to recommend this book to you:


Are You The One For Me? Barbara DeAngelis


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 8:49am

Well he didn't call Tuesday. He texted me and said his friends were in town and he wouldn't have time to talk to me. I just texted him back a couple one word answers and he said he would call me on Wednesday because he was driving home and would have some alone time to talk.

I texted him Wednesday morning and said, "Hey, you asked for your space so I'm just going to give that to you and move on. You should only call me if you want to, not because I asked you to. Maybe I'll talk to you in a couple months." He texted me back hours later and said ok whatever and we got in an argument via texting AGAIN, so I called him twice, he didn't answer and I texted him saying I would really rather do this over the phone and he called me.

He was a completely different person. I didn't even know who I was talking to. He was angry, unhappy, and overall mean. I kept telling him to just calm down and stop yelling and being angry, we were just talking. He shot back with "This isn't just talking, you're questioning me" (I guess by asking him what happened that led to our break up he thought that was questioning). He doesn't want a girlfriend right now, he doesn't "want to be with me now" He also said he doesn't think there is a chance he'll want to get back together in the fall, he doesn't know what he wants in a month or even six months. He said hes having an awful summer and hes alone all the time, and hes sure I'm having a great summer with my friends and partying all the time (I live in our college town). I told him I wasn't.

He even told me that I was the one who assumed we were on a break...which is not true. All he told me the first week we were broken up was that we would get back together after the summer and he would be so upset if I didn't take him back. I told him that I wouldn't take him back now, after all this, anyway. He got really angry at that and said he never told me to wait and he was very insulted last time we talked when I cursed at him and told him I didn't want to see him again and then called back and told him I would wait. This is very confusing, I know.

So, what does all this mean? We are very broken up, not talking for a while at least, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to take him back. Why do I still miss him? I keep getting these hard pangs of missing him and wanting him. But I know hes changed so much (maybe hes become depressed?) and its clear he didn't even want to be with me the last two months of our relationship (which he sort of admitted to). I hate how I acted after we broke up, I'm sure I only pushed him away more, and i feel embarrassed and foolish. How do I get over all these feelings?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 12:46pm

Hi again,


First you don't beat yourself up. We all do or stay things we regret.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 1:14pm
Your hurt and you have a right to be. And who knows how long it will take for you to recover from this, but you will survive it. It just takes time, and I always tell people, time is never on your side during the the heartache. If you woke up one morning, and everything went away, you would be so happy, but the happiness would only be temporary, because you didn't get a chance to go thru the pain and heartache in order to grow and learn from this experience. That's why it's so important to take time off when you break up with someone, so you can learn about you and the mistakes, so the next relationship would be better and so on and so on. Men don't do that, because they don't really deal with there feelings, and they just start up a new relationship, and eventually it's a disater. You see, you need to grow as individual, so you can be ready for the man of your dreams. Believe it or not, this break up is preparing you for you new guy. Just wait and see. I don't know if this will help you right now, but the attitude, the anger, and the meaniness your "ex" is giving you, he will regret one day. I promise you that. When this is all over, he will realize the mistake he made, and by then, your already moved on, and you won't even care. So sit back, and try to stay calm, and leave him alone, and try to move on. It will be hard, but take one day at time. You will be just fine!!! DO NOT CONTACT him anymore, you need to let it go and try your best to move on..Good Luck