Thank you, mixed message central

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Thank you, mixed message central
5
Sat, 03-26-2005 - 6:54am
Advice, sure, I've got lots of advice. I could use a little more.
First, a little more background: long term LDR, broke up earlier this month, his choice
Whenever I pull away and don't message him, he draws me right back in. I'm sorry, everyone. I was doing so well! Went four days. Sends me IMs that I know he knows are perfect - they're really nothing to all of you, they're just links perfectly tuned or timed to make me smile, laugh, or think. But sometimes they're enough to get a little conversation going. Little glimpses of depth, without all the emotion attached. I can be friends with this guy. I want to, it's what brought us together in the first place. I miss talking to him. I see glimpses of us in these conversations. So far all the NC has been really initiated by me. Should I just tell him not to message me until he gets his brain together and figures out whether he really misses me/us or is just content to live this way? Am I just hurting myself by caving in and answering messages on occasion? Is he messing with me? I really want to show him when I talk to him that I AM FINE, thanks, and when I'm not fine, it certainly is no longer his business and that I can deal with it WITHOUT him.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-26-2005 - 9:10am

Yes, I would send him an email (not an IM) asking him not to contact you unless and until he changes his mind about breaking up with you and is 100% certain he wants to try again. Then *block* him from contacting you! If he changes his mind, he'll move mountains to get in touch with you.

Perhaps you *can* be friends eventually, but not right now. Postphone your friendship until you're completely over him (the test: imagine you call him and he tells you about his wonderful new fiancee. If you're anything but completely happy for him, you're not ready to be friends).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2005
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 3:41pm

"the test: imagine you call him and he tells you about his wonderful new fiancee. If you're anything but completely happy for him, you're not ready to be friends."

Ooooh, I like that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 6:22pm
That's an interesting test. My sensible side says I don't need someone like this back. I guess I'm just having a bad day of dealing :( :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 12:38am

hurray for me for being a wee bit tipsy tonight and NOT CALLING THE EX.
I picked up the phone and called a dear friend who assured me I was hot, and wonderful and smart and really everything a guy would want and was glad to hear from me for me:)

yay me

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 10:46pm
YES!!
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