Thank you, mixed message central
Find a Conversation
Thank you, mixed message central
| Sat, 03-26-2005 - 6:54am |
Advice, sure, I've got lots of advice. I could use a little more.
First, a little more background: long term LDR, broke up earlier this month, his choice
Whenever I pull away and don't message him, he draws me right back in. I'm sorry, everyone. I was doing so well! Went four days. Sends me IMs that I know he knows are perfect - they're really nothing to all of you, they're just links perfectly tuned or timed to make me smile, laugh, or think. But sometimes they're enough to get a little conversation going. Little glimpses of depth, without all the emotion attached. I can be friends with this guy. I want to, it's what brought us together in the first place. I miss talking to him. I see glimpses of us in these conversations. So far all the NC has been really initiated by me. Should I just tell him not to message me until he gets his brain together and figures out whether he really misses me/us or is just content to live this way? Am I just hurting myself by caving in and answering messages on occasion? Is he messing with me? I really want to show him when I talk to him that I AM FINE, thanks, and when I'm not fine, it certainly is no longer his business and that I can deal with it WITHOUT him.
First, a little more background: long term LDR, broke up earlier this month, his choice
Whenever I pull away and don't message him, he draws me right back in. I'm sorry, everyone. I was doing so well! Went four days. Sends me IMs that I know he knows are perfect - they're really nothing to all of you, they're just links perfectly tuned or timed to make me smile, laugh, or think. But sometimes they're enough to get a little conversation going. Little glimpses of depth, without all the emotion attached. I can be friends with this guy. I want to, it's what brought us together in the first place. I miss talking to him. I see glimpses of us in these conversations. So far all the NC has been really initiated by me. Should I just tell him not to message me until he gets his brain together and figures out whether he really misses me/us or is just content to live this way? Am I just hurting myself by caving in and answering messages on occasion? Is he messing with me? I really want to show him when I talk to him that I AM FINE, thanks, and when I'm not fine, it certainly is no longer his business and that I can deal with it WITHOUT him.

Yes, I would send him an email (not an IM) asking him not to contact you unless and until he changes his mind about breaking up with you and is 100% certain he wants to try again. Then *block* him from contacting you! If he changes his mind, he'll move mountains to get in touch with you.
Perhaps you *can* be friends eventually, but not right now. Postphone your friendship until you're completely over him (the test: imagine you call him and he tells you about his wonderful new fiancee. If you're anything but completely happy for him, you're not ready to be friends).
Sheri
"the test: imagine you call him and he tells you about his wonderful new fiancee. If you're anything but completely happy for him, you're not ready to be friends."
Ooooh, I like that!
hurray for me for being a wee bit tipsy tonight and NOT CALLING THE EX.
I picked up the phone and called a dear friend who assured me I was hot, and wonderful and smart and really everything a guy would want and was glad to hear from me for me:)
yay me