Thanks for the advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
Thanks for the advice
3
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 11:46am
I Never thought i would be here but i am,& have found a community of folks in the same boat.Thank you for all who have responded to my story.Today is day 10 & the pain is subsided,SLIGHTLY.I still have not eaten,I have lost 10 pounds in 10 days.I still have to get all of my things(a whole housefull) from his house,as soon as the weather breaks,But the forecast is calling for more ice & snow.I guess i'm still in shock how someone you were so close to ,gave everything to ,can just snap their fingers ,& leave you in the dust.I am waiting on a phone call from a graduate student in the field of Psychcology,to go to counseling.(since i cannot afford to go to a "regular" one)I look forward to reading your posts ,it's one thing i can concentrate on to get on with my life.I just talked (listened) to my best friend who gave me the best advice.I am a grown woman.I need to tell myself It is NOT my fault,HE was the loser in all this.I'm pretty sure i need to quit working for his sister,I don't think i can handle it.What do you all think?Once again thanks for reading my message.Hugs to all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 12:28pm

crushedheart101...

Pianoguy thinks that if not working for his sister will REDUCE YOUR STRESS...give your 2 weeks notice and locate something else to do? No doubt his sister is "caught in the middle" and doesn't know whether her allegiance should be to her brother...or to you? So depending upon how badly you need the paycheck---and how easy it is for you to segue from one job to another---perhaps you should take this direction?

Suggestion:

If you feel you need to talk "one-to-one" about your situation...click on my profile and send me an email. I'll do my best to provide a logical response based on your situation, the words you use and NOT ON THE FACT THAT I HAPPEN TO BE A MAN!

Best wishes and warm thoughts...

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2007
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 1:08pm
just wanted to say goodluck, maybe try to find a new job 1st and then give 2 weeks notice. I hear ya on the give someone everything and in a moment it is gone... goodluck
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 3:00pm

Hey...

I know you hear this from everyone probably... but when you love someone so much and they just walk away... it is hard. I believe that this is true regardless of whose fault the problems leading to the break up are.

I still think my ex probably found someone else and didn't want to act on it while in a relationship with me. I don't think that he will ever REALLY admit that. I do know that his interest is now involved with someone else however. I think he got bored with his life, but he wasn't willing to do anything about it. I think he needed to lean on me and didn't know how. I think that I didn't say a lot of things that I should have... It was no one's fault unless my speculation about the other woman is correct in which case it is only his fault because he was not HONEST with me.

Let me tell you this much - that I have learned here and from my friends in the last few weeks... You will get stronger every day because it is the body mind and soul's way of healing. It is not on our terms, and it will only happen when you are truly open to forgiveness for yourself and the other person.

I still can't really eat after two weeks and I'm down TWO pants sizes... I eat... but it's hard for me to swallow and to keep much down. I haven't cried in a few days, although I feel like I might today. I just keep waiting, because I've learned that when it's time for tears they just start.

I was SO angry... and the anger has gone and I feel numb again...

Talking to someone is a good idea, and I've done it too. I'm actually taking Xanax to eat... not EVERY time and not every day. Just when I start to get really worked up.

I still cannot believe he's gone... but at the same time I don't know why I'm saying that because I'm so glad that he is at the same time.

good luck and hang in there!!!