Is there anything I can do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2005
Is there anything I can do?
3
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 11:56am
My boyfriend of 2 and a half years and I have recently broken up over trust issues. He says he doesn't trust me anymore. And I can understand because all my closest friends are male and i see them more often than him, but that's only because he's always off working. I would've been more than happy to spend all my spare time with him if he gave me the time. I have never been unfaithful to him, though rumours were spread before that I had slept with someone else. He says that he's still in love with me, and the he think he always will be, but that he can't stay in a relationship where there is doubt. Is there anything I can do to get him back or am I just crying over spilt milk.
Thanks for your help :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:06pm

There is probably nothing you can do, but my advice to you would be to not call him. Let him miss you, let him see what his life without you in it would be like.

The good thing is that he still loves you so that alone might cause him to want you back one day. But you never know what will happen.

Let him have his space and take this time to figure things out about yourself, focus on you.

~Amber~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:29pm
My opinion would be that if he is still in love with you like he says, then he should want to stay and make it work. If he truly loves you in a mature way, then isn't he supposed to trust you? I mean I know people get jealous, that's natural, but it sounds like maybe he's worried that he isn't good enough. Or he could really just not want to be with you anymore, so he is blaming it on trust issues and doubts, when really he just wants out. Either way, I would let it go. If it's meant to be it will happen. But you can't force anything so just let it go and go day by day. But I wouldn't call him, I would let him do the contacting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:38pm
Personally, I think that you shouldn't have to do anything to get him back, because you didn't do anything wrong! I can see if you cheated on him and he said he couldn't trust you anymore, but that's not what happened. Having a lot of guy friends and spending time with them is not a reason not to trust you. The problem lays with HIM, not you. He might have trust issues, even if you never did anything to him to make him doubt you. It's hard to be in a relationship with someone like that because you always feel like you have to walk on eggshells or you'll upset them. Have you talked to him about this issue, and expressed that you would like to spend more time with him but he is always working? I have always been one to think that if someone breaks up with me, especially for a reason that makes no sense, then good riddance. If he can't see all the good qualities about you and is willing to throw away what you have, then you deserve better. I know it still is hard to deal with, but you have to think about what you really want in a boyfriend. A person who is able to trust others AND one you can trust is the ideal person.