Is there 'The One' for everybody?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Is there 'The One' for everybody?
13
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 2:25am
I just broke up with a boyfriend that in my mind was perfect for me..the only downfall was that we live in different countries

i already posted my little story but i got a reply from haley420000 who mentioned that 'the one', the soulmate, doesnt really exist. i just wanted to see what everybody's opinion on this was. the way i see it, it might be true..but, i don't know if you will agree with me on this, there isn't an abundance of quality men out there (or maybe im looking in the wrong places). so, when you finally find the one that you love everything about, the one that is smart, funny and all around a good person (and isn't taken), how do you let go?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 9:42am
HI again!

Ohmen, do I really have to go back to the past :( I'll try to tell in short..

We only had something for 4 months (almost 5 months involved because I saw him yesterday..). He's 27 , I'm 24 and he is acting like a baby. Also I have a little girl, she's 2,5 (the father and I split up beginning this year, it was 4,5 years, but I was the one who ended it and that didnt hurt me much at all, strangely enough).

I met my italian guy, that I love so much still, fool that I am almost 5 months ago and we had a real great thing going on (in my opinion) but ...I think he finds it way too suffocating that I have a child and he came up with lots of things why he thought we couldnt be together but to me I only heard: I'm not ready for commitment.

I look back and I see that we were so great before he met my child, we went on lots of dates and had diners and made love, watch films and then I thought ok, he can meet my girl. And he acted great with her and was fine but ...well...he is obviously not ready, and in a way, I dont blame him, I can understand. But the thing that was really hard was to actually go trough with the 'separation' because he lives nearby, and we loved to have sex so much together that we did that a few times after the 'decision'. It was nice but next day was pretty painfull for me. I know he cares about me (he says so himself, he says many sweet things to me but they piss me off because if I am so great why doesnt he want to be with me then!)

Anyway, I had to borrow his bike (see :the bike story) and he cam e to get it yesterday, I invited him in and he had a quick drink, he only satyed like 10 minutes and then kissed me goodbye, on the lips, quite long! For me that was really hard again.....

So..long story eh, I wonder when it will ever finish... he says he wants to be friends but then we always have the chemistry between us, it just doesnt go away....

Anyway, you said you think you will be over him by Sunday?? Nooooo, that cant be true!! But I would ring him to say hello.. You know what I think works best, if u keep quite cool on the phone you know, talk about what you did , laugh, relax, try not to talk about;how have you been about us breaking up and stuff like that, cos that makes it bad!

OK, enough now, too much to read already!

You know, the song SINGLE from Natasha Beddingfield is sort of cheering me up and I'm shouting it out with her, it helps (even though I still dont REALLY want to be single, but pretending it is half the job...I hope)

Later

Samantha

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 1:36pm
With all my heart, and my head, I believe that there are many soul mates among us for each of us. Personally, I think I have had relationships with two people that I would and do consider having been my soul mate. The connection...and you know what I mean...was real...intense...it was a feeling of "knowing this person before"...a feeling of being totally comfortable...a feeling of being able to complete their thoughts and sometimes even say what they were thinking right before they did...you all know what I'm talking about. I think there are many many souls that are compatible enough to be soul mates...I could get off on some of my religious beliefs and the way I think it all works...but instead of going off on the tangent...just let me say that I KNOW there is more than ONE soul mate out there.

I think the key in looking, as every one says, is to not be looking....BUT, with that said, sometimes you have to open your eyes to see what is right in front of your face!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 4:32pm
Hi aloneagain2004,

You said:

"I think the key in looking, as every one says, is to not be looking....BUT, with that said, sometimes you have to open your eyes to see what is right in front of your face!"


Will you tell 'my' guy this??!!!

Big smile from Samie

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