Is there a post like this?
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Is there a post like this?
| Wed, 01-25-2006 - 3:23pm |
a "getting to know you" post?
I notice there are quite a few that have been in a situation like mine and yet I'm not sure who is still around!?
can we do a rollcall post?

iwillbthere4u...
Pianoguy LIKES your user name....and is very happy to get your thread started.
PG
Thanks Pianoguy. The theme song for Friends was playing on the radio when I was sitting there trying to think of a username... so... it just came to me! :)
I'm a single 29 year old female who has been in a longterm relationship (with lots of bumps and indescricions along the way). But last Tuesday (a week ago +1 day ago) I declared I couldn't do it anymore.
Bottom line: he's a great guy... but he isn't interested in having the level of relationship that I want... I tried for years to get us there... but now I can see... we just CAN'T get there - by no fault of either of us! :( It hurts like hell right now! How long does it take to recover from an almost 9 year relationship to your BEST friend?
What's your story?
iwillbthere4u...
Pianoguy apologizes for not responding sooner. He was away from the computer ALL DAY THURSDAY.
My story is pretty much outlined in my profile. 2 marriages....one that lasted 16 years and resulted in 2 terrific sons. And a 2nd one to a lovely woman which only lasted for 15 months! . In between, there was a 4-year relationship with a lady who ultimately turned into: "The girlfriend from Hell!"
I've had very few dating opportunities since my "weekend work schedule" (I play piano and entertain for private parties...as well as perform for a few restaurants in the area), often cancels out the opportunity to get serious with any woman! Most ladies I know want (or expect) to be "wined and dined" on Fridays and Saturdays...and most of the time my work prevents this from happening!
To answer your question...I think 9 years of going nowhere IS MUCH TOO LONG! You can usually tell if something is meant to be within 4 or 5! Granted, it's impossible to 'take those years back' since they've already happened....but YOUR LIFE ISN'T OVER AT THE AGE OF 29!
My only suggestion....to you and my other ivillage friends....is to remember that "YOUR BEST FRIEND ISN'T NECESSARILY DESTINED TO BECOME YOUR LIFETIME SOULMATE!" . So I guess if you can give yourself permission to 'move forward and not look back'----you MIGHT have an easier time when it comes to finding your "Mr. Right???"
My thoughts and good luck wishes are definitely in your corner.
Pianoguy
Sorry I did not get to the board sooner this week (out of town audits really ruin my posting schedule), and sorry to hear about your breakup. Believe it or not, I know exactly how you feel because I just got out of a very similar situation. My breakup was a week ago tomorrow, and it's hard to deal with. We really loved and cared about each other, but we just were not compatible.
Anyway, I do my best to write get to know you questions in the bottom folder of the board (though they are rarely replied to by anyone besides myself) :). I love to learn more about the members of this board though, so if there's anything you ever want to know about anyone, be my guest! A roll call is welcomed!
I hope you'll feel comfortable posting here about your situation when you're feeling down. Unfortunately, I can't say how long it will take you to get over your relationship, but I know you will eventually. I think that if you really make a solid effort to get over what happened, it will really help to speed your progress (i.e. no contact, thought stopping, remembering the real reasons your broke up, etc.).
Let us know how you're doing and welcome to the board!
-Nikki
co-cl of Breaking Up is Hard to Do!
Love, me