Things go from bad to worse
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| Mon, 10-23-2006 - 3:02am |
Hi...
4 months ago i ended a 6 year relationship. It was tough but it was waiting to happen. Im 24 years old, we started going out when I was 18! It's like we grew up together but suddenly i changed,,, He was the first guy i ever kissed. The first guy I ever gave my heart to. I loved him so much. Everything happend so fast that i just...i don't know what happend!!! still so confused and might regret this eventually or it might the best thing i could've done for myself! I don't know!!! but i know it's been extremly difficult. My nights are days and days are nights.
Having friends around you should be a big bonus, it worked against me! me and one of his friends are very close.. helping me through the break up and all things happend when they shouldn't have! i'm discusted by what i did, and we both regret it so much!!! i've only been with one man but i know people say don't rebound and i'll be one of them because it feels like crap! you already have so much on your plate, don't add to it! I have feelings for his friend and so does he but we both know it can't go anywhere! and it's just more pain to deal with!!!
hell it hurts, i dont know how to carry myself out of this pain!!!Ive cried myself to sleep everyday for the last 4 months, when will things begin to look better??? im so depressed and ready to give up on life!!! im only 24 but i feel as though i've endured enough pain that i can no longer suffer!!!
How do you move on? I dont want to get back with him right now, i need to figure my life out, but it hurts!! all my friends have boyfriends or are engaged and I dont wanna get back with him for the wrong reasons!! im so scared that i fell out of love! Getting rid of the other friend isn't an option for me right now either, that's the last thing i need.. it's painful enough not to be with him right now!!! we enjoy eachother so much and we get a long so well, it scares us!!! but we never talk about our feelings anymore, but it just feels good to see him, and spend time with him! He's always there for me to help me!!
WHAT DO I DOOOOO :( i hate life and for the last 4 months things have gone from bad to the worse and worse!!! is there light at the end of the tunnelllllll!?!?!?!
in desprate need for help!

dezo06...
"How do you move on?"
This is a GREAT QUESTION.
Pianoguy read your post twice and suddenly got lots of flashbacks! Some were connected to marriage #2 (which ended in divorce 5 years ago). Others to his earlier 4-year relationship with "the girlfriend from Hell!"
But to try and answer your question.
The ONLY way for any of us to move forward is to accept the fact that THE PAST CAN'T BE CHANGED! It has already happened and it's finished! HOWEVER...WE CAN MAKE ALTERATIONS IN THE PRESENT THAT WILL (hopefully) AFFECT OUR FUTURE IN A POSITIVE WAY?
If you didn't receive comfort and support from your friends...then you need to call on your inner strength to pull yourself out of the hurt and sadness. While you might feel self-conscious because friends and family members are ALL PAIRED OFF WITH SOMEONE AND YOU AREN'T...this ISN'T going to be the 'script for the rest of your life!' There's a lot more ahead for you...
"Giving up on life" is the coward's way out!
Simply because you're tossing away a wonderful gift---which is the ability to choose your own destiny and make yourself happy---in favor of the man who dumped you...and will most likely pull the same crap on someone else?!
24 is a fantastic age...and you've got plenty of 'life challenges' ahead. PLEASE DON'T TOSS THE OPPORTUNITIES AWAY! I realize you'll find this difficult to believe, but YOU ARE WORTH A LOT TO SOMEONE...providing you're willing to give yourself the chance to find him?
I'm sending you the hugs. Now it's up to you to turn your life around!
Pianoguy
Please don't give up on life even though you feel things have gone from bad to worse. I to have been away from my ex-boyfriend for 4 months and there are MANY days where I feel like my emotions are on a freight train going toward a cement wall, but I know I have to get myself together for my family's sake especially my daughter's. You are only 24 and take this advice to heart coming from a 40 something, divorced mother, you will find another. I was with my ex-husband for 10 years and I really thought I would never find love again after my divorce 3 years ago but I did even though it didn't work out like I wanted. At least I knew I could love again and so will you. Don't let this man control your life, you need to control your life and believe me, some days are going to be tougher than others. Enjoy your twenties with friends even though they are coupled up. Most of my friends are coupled up also but I still find comfront in them.
If you are close to your mother, please lean on her the most. I know when I see my daughter in any emotional pain, I want to be the first one to comfront her and stay beside her until her pain is gone.
You take care of yourself and our days will get better.
Thank you guys for taking the time to respond, I appreciate it!
But all in all, it's easier said than done...it's encouraging to read about the success of people moving on, but you think that you're so far away from it and some days you seem to be getting even further!
Through the rough times, through all the pain and suffering, sometimes im just willing to do anything to just clear my mind for a few hours (rebound). And then there are days where i lock myself inside my room, refuse to talk with my friends and family, and just cry like i've never cried before!!!
To break up was my decision, but he drove me to it! suddenly, the relationship was operating one way, and I tried and tried and it didn't work! But, it doesn't justify the pain! it's like all these years you've built so much love, memories and built for the future and then suddenly it's all taken away! I feel like such a failure for not succeeding in it!
This last weekend, I attended a weddding, I felt so sick half way through !! as sad as it is, I envy them! I sat alone and watched couples dance through beautiful slow songs! it's times like this where I feel so weak and I just wanna rebel!
Im trying very hard to take control of my life, and to make myself realize that it's not the end of the world! I keep myself very busy with work, it gets my mind of things! and sometimes, im smiling and i see the light and then it just takes one reminder to take you 10 steps back!!!
it's been tough, but i guess no body said that life was easy, they just promised that it'd worth it!!!