Think I am ending things since it's getting complicated and not going anywhere...?

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Registered: 01-10-2002
Think I am ending things since it's getting complicated and not going anywhere...?
Thu, 04-24-2014 - 2:05am

As me & him have quite a lot of common friends, there are not many people I could talk to about my recent relationship problem, so I thought of writing here... 
Between, as I'm not a native English speaker, please bare with my bad English Embarassed (I'm from Hong Kong)

I met him at a friend's party 3 months ago and we were quite interested in each others. I'm 28 and he's 30. Some of my friends were his classmates and they've known each others for over 10 years. Thought we were both single and available from the beginning...  I got out of a short term relationship a year ago. And he said that he got out of a long term relationship for 2 years, found out it wasn't the case a few days ago. 

Our workplaces are just 2 blocks away, so we've started seeing each others at lunch hour / after work like 2-3 days a week since we met. Things might have gone too fast and too far on the first 2 weeks, it was just out of control - it turned into some kind of friends with benefits relationship after one drunk night and we kept on like this. We still met once or twice a week. Guess both of us weren't sure if we wanted a relationship, trying to keep the atmosphere casual and friendly, we've never initiated any conversations about where we stand.  

So we went on so casually for almost 3 months (we didn't date any other people in these 3 months). I started questioning myself if that is what I really wanted.

So... what exactly happened a few days ago:

He suddenly texted me that he was not in the mood to be intimate with me a week ago, and asked if I could just hang out as a good friend. I went out, asked what's been happening and he said he has to be honest with me. He got out of a 3.5 years relationship half a year ago, it was a domestic relationship, his ex was 7 years older than him and she has a 13 years old kid with her ex-husband. His ex left him as she was looking for a mature man to get married and take care of her, so she had betrayed him for an older man and broke up with him. She's recently broke up with the older man and back in touch with "my guy", begging him to get back into a relationship with her.  

He said he was 100% sure about rejecting his ex, but he just felt bad because his ex was consistantly crying and begging every one or two days. He looked quite depressed when I met him, and I felt like I had to leave him alone and let him be on his own for some time after this meeting. He said sorry to me about not being able to treat me as a date (more than friends) today and hope he could get back into good mood and date me soon. He even asked if I wanted to hang out the day after the meeting for movies and dinner again. I declined and said it might not be appropriate, maybe he should just take a rest at home and figure things out. 

So I texted him at late night, after the meeting, telling him how I thought about our "relationship". I told him that I actually liked him a lot, but things started off awkwardlly as a friends with benefits like thing, I didn't want to ruin things or give up the chances to see him, so I avoided to have "the talk" with him to clarify where we stand. I also wrote him that I couldn't just be a plantonic friend when he wasn't in the mood, and I couldn't just switch back to his "date / so called girl friend" when his mood is back. I asked him to take care and let's chat again if he would still like to see me.


I didn't get any reply, not even a word from him and it's been 4 days. 
Things should be officially ended.

Guess there's nothing more I can do? All I can do is to move on.. right?