third day after break up
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third day after break up
| Wed, 03-01-2006 - 4:56am |
Suddenly I ve felt as if one of my limbs has been severed. I tried to call him and talk it out on the first day. How can he be so terribly cold blooded about it - I dont understand. And I get a lot of support and advice from my friends but I just cannot convince myself that after some time its going to be over. I also know that after my previous relationship I needed more than a year to recover. So how do I avoid becoming cynical and convince myself that there will be a moment again when I wont feel exhausted just by seeing bed we have been shared? Its easier for him - he timed it with moving to a new flat, second month in a new job etc.
I thought I ll give my friends a bit of a respite from me feeling sorry for myself. I had been dating my bf for a year and eight months. A few weeks ago we discussed plans for about the next ten years. Trips planned for end of March, for Easter (to see his parents, neither of us live in the same country as our parents do), for summer. A few months ago I decided not to change my job to a more challanging one (coz that would mean getting to another country) and we discussed our commitment as well.
Now suddenly, he s had the last straw and its now over. I realise that I am not a piece of gold, however, I wish he had at some point told me that there were things that he felt unhappy about.
Anyway, since I know he does not waste his words, his decision is not going to change. I ve tried to make a list about what I did not like in this relationship, and, well, there were things that I knew very well and also knew I can live with.
I dont even have the anger to help me to deal with this coz I just feel very very sad.
I thought I ll give my friends a bit of a respite from me feeling sorry for myself. I had been dating my bf for a year and eight months. A few weeks ago we discussed plans for about the next ten years. Trips planned for end of March, for Easter (to see his parents, neither of us live in the same country as our parents do), for summer. A few months ago I decided not to change my job to a more challanging one (coz that would mean getting to another country) and we discussed our commitment as well.
Now suddenly, he s had the last straw and its now over. I realise that I am not a piece of gold, however, I wish he had at some point told me that there were things that he felt unhappy about.
Anyway, since I know he does not waste his words, his decision is not going to change. I ve tried to make a list about what I did not like in this relationship, and, well, there were things that I knew very well and also knew I can live with.
I dont even have the anger to help me to deal with this coz I just feel very very sad.

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup.
HI ANNEJOHANSEN
I KNOW ITS HARD TO THINK THAT THE ONE THAT YOU LOVE AND HAVE PLANS WITH...ITS OVER..OFCOURSE THATS VERY HARD AND IT HURT!!! BUT LIKE YOU MENTION THIS IS ONLY THE 3RD DAY RIGHT...
HOW SURE ARE YOU THAT HIS NOT COMING BACK FOR YOU AND ITS FINALLY OVER...YOU BEEN WITH HIM FOR ABOUT 2YRS RIGHT!!! I'M JUST ASSUMING MAYBE HE JUST NEED SOME SPACE...LIKE YOU MENTION IT SEEM THAT BOTH OF YOU ARE GOOD COUPLES...MAKING PLAN FOR VACATION AND EVERYTHING....WELL MY FRIENDLY SUGGESTION RIGHT NOW RESPECT HIS DESICION...IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU HE WILL CALL YOU SOONER OR LATER!!!! AND ITS UP TO YOU IF YOU OPEN THAT DOOR AND TAKE THAT RISK!!! JUST STAY POSITIVE...BUT I DONT KNOW SOMEHOW I CANT REALLY SEE THAT THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER!!!!<<<<>>> IS NOT BECAUSED I WANT YOU TO FEEL BETTER OR GIVE YOU HOPE......OH WELL LET SEE!!!!! IF EVER PLEASE LET ME KNOW OKAY.....GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU!!!
hey there-
i completely understand how you feel. my ex sounds like the same kind of people as yours. stubborn - won't change his mind about being with you. and i also struggled with how cold-blooded he sounded in the days after our break-up. like our relationship meant nothing and he could turn off his feelings like that. i can't say i'm a 100% believer in this - but maybe he is just trying to be cold so you get over him quicker. he thinks he's making it easier on you? (i don't know about your ex, but mine is a really good guy, so i can see him doing something like that for me).
trust me, i was a wreck for the first month and a half. and i can't say that i still don't break down into tears, 2 months later. but that pain you feel in the first few weeks does get better. and reading this board totally helps! keep posting your feelings. as for contact, i did keep in touch w/ mine through the break up and the month after. but now it's just an email a week at the most. and trust me, i wish i had done NC from the start. Take care of yourself!