Thought I was doing ok...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2005
Thought I was doing ok...
1
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 3:00pm
This whole nc is really hard for me right now. He's going through a really rough time and usually i would be the one he would talk to about it. It just hurts so bad that I can't be there for him, and i know how horrible he must feel, because i've seen him hurt before when someone has passed away. I broke down and decided to talk to him about how he was holding up. I know he's trying to be strong and hold everything in, he's always been like that and it's harden him to things, and its just so sad because i don't want to see that happen to him. i'm trying to understand that he doesn't talk about it with anyone and its not just me, but i can't help feeling that he is with other people and i know thats good, i just wish it were with me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 3:13pm

issa87....

What others (close or just distant friends) don't want to understand about the NC rule is this:

YOU CAN'T TRANSFER YOUR FEELINGS! YOU CAN "FEEL FOR OTHERS"---BUT THOSE FEELINGS YOU HAVE AREN'T NECESSARILY GOING TO BE RECIPROCATED OR APPRECIATED!

Sure---you can be supportive and offer your shoulder to cry on? But the person doing the crying might actually feel 'more comfortable alone' INSTEAD of 'breaking down' in front of you!

So if this man has made his choice to keep his distance from you (irregardless of whether he receives consolation and support from other people)...PLEASE RESPECT HIS DECISION!

Pianoguy