Thoughts?
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Thoughts?
| Thu, 10-25-2007 - 5:49pm |
OK, it's been almost one month (I still can't believe it) since my breakup. Everything is going along as it should. NC on both our parts. Keeping healthy. Focusing on myself...bla bla bla.
I have some social events I signed up for this weekend, you know, trying to "keep busy." But the truth is my ex-boyfriend and I were homebodies or just liked to go out and see movies. While I do have friends here, most are co-worker friends only, or are

hi there. i can totally relate. i am a homebody too and i always have to push myself to go out and be more social, especially now. tonight i am going to a social event. if i had it my way, i would go home, get in my comfy clothes and watch tv, play on the computer and read a book. but all that will do is depress me and hide me from the world. so i have to force myself to go out. that is the only way i can meet other people, maybe another potential bf oneday, and help move myself along. it can tend to feel like a chore, but it is really best that we get out and socialize and be around other people. it might feel sad at first, like ugh, if i still had my bf, i would not have to be out here doing this. or you may think, ugh, there is no one really here for me to talk to, i miss my bf, but the more we go out, the easier it will be, the more often we may run into some of the same people and make new friends and that can only be good for us. if you just stay home, you will still think about your bf. better to be out and try and meet people who might help you think about something else for a little while, right? my friend was possibly going to not be able to come with me tonight, but even then, i thought i would go alone and give it a try. luckily, she is still coming with me. bascially, it cannot hurt to go out, it can help. staying home will not get us anywhere. no one is gonna just come knocking at our door.
Hopefully these social groups turn out to feel more natural. I'm so not ready to even think about a date, so I hope that it doesn't come up. I'm just feeling so low energy about life today. But thankfully it might just be today. I think smoke from the Socal fires is making us all feel that way. I hope I perk up soon.
I miss my ex so much today. sigh....
Get out. No, I mean really, get your butt out there.
It's waaaayyyyy too easy to get in a habit of staying in, of hiding behind the sadness, of hanging out in "safe places," in being *too* okay being alone. Don't do it. You can be a homebody when you're married, you can stay in when you're 80, right now, get out. And why would you even have the word date flit acros your mind? No worries, if someone asks you, politely say, 'No thank you, I'm not looking to go on dates." And that's it, no need to explain at all.
It's hard at first, you'll thank me later.
Forcing yourself, yeah, been there, done that..... but well worth it.
Rent movies and stay home when you don't feel like going out. Going to a movie alone is ok. I've done it.
I signed up for volunteer work at least once a month.
Break everything up with hanging with family or friends....make new friend too.
Yes, force yourself to go out.
I find that I can get easily sucked into staying at home with a book or watching movies, so I force myself to get out there. When I was at graduate school over the summer I didn't know anyone and I wasn't looking for a relationship, but I didn't want to sit at home and get bummed out. I did the 'tourist' sightseeing thing (even if you're still in the same city you were born/grew up in, there are always museums or events that you've never seen or haven't seen in awhile). I'd also go to a local bar once a week for wing night and sit at the bar chatting with the bartender. I met so many people who would come in and sit at the bar while waiting for their order. I also signed up at a local gym with a personal trainer. Her and I exercised 3 times a week together and we've become friends. I have also taken cooking lessons where you cook with other people, and I liked the suggestion of volunteer work. It's not as scary if you get out there in situations that are low key. Good luck.
hugs, lisa