The Three Week Slipup
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 10-01-2004 - 11:47am |
Last night I broke down and text-messaged him. He replied with a short email which I saw this morning. Ok, so contact has been re-established. But I feel really leery now, and I'm not sure what my next move should be. (The quiet voice of reason within me whispers "No move is the best move. Just keep quiet."
I think after a short relationship -- we were only together for three months -- there's something about the three-week post-breakup marker. I think at 3 weeks or close to it people sometimes feel removed enough from the pain to think that perhaps light and casual contact is ok. Some people even think friendship can be initiated at that point. I should know better ... and I do know better. But it's still so tempting. It's so tempting to think I can just talk to him occasionally, or email a couple of times a week and not fall into the trap of wanting him again and then being rejected.
Every time I've left a relationship and gone back to it at 3 weeks or 3 months or longer even, it has always failed ... I know, I know. I should just stick with my NC, right? If and when he's ready to do serious talking about what happened between us, if and when he wants to reconcile, he'll approach me in more than a casual manner, right?
I don't want to reply to his latest email, which is actually quite short and doesn't say anything personal, aside from:
"Hope all is well; miss talking to you."

You know the answer...go with the NC. I'm doing the NC and though it's killing me I honestly believe that it is for the best. By keeping contact all those emotions and memories of the time spent with this man will only come back and will make you emotionally imbalanced. Then you'll be very likely to go running back when he wants you to and it sounds like he hurt you so he definitely doesn't deserve you.
You'll know if it's meant to be when he starts looking for you and trying to contact you on a more personal and meaningful level. Let him be the one to realize what a great person he let go and come running back to you. Then it will be up to you if you decide to go back. But hopefully, if it's for the best you'll have moved on whenever that happens and he'll be the one left devastated.
I've heard of exes becoming good friends and while I am sure it is possible, I believe that there still has to be a good long gap in between that intimate relationship and a friendship. When you really care about somebody and actually love them, it has to take a lot of time to get over your feelings for them, at least that's how I feel.
MEN, can't live with them but can live without them either!!!!! They're absolutely awful just until Mr. Right comes along, of course. You sound like a wonderful and intelligent woman who I am sure will have no trouble finding another man to make her happy. Keep the board updated, we're here for you!!!!
Corona