Time It Takes To Get Over Ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Time It Takes To Get Over Ex.
4
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 5:49pm
Hi and thanks for all your previous support. My ex broke up with me about three weeks ago, we were together for about four years. It was a plutonic relationship... I am nervious, depressed and anxious. Does anyone know how long it takes to get over one's ex? Thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 6:22pm
I'm so sorry to hear that...I would suggest taking good care of yourself, being kind to yourself, and spending time with sympathetic friends. If you want to really pull yourself out of the doldrums, too, read a fun book about break-ups--my favorite is one I just discovered, called THE LIST by Tara Ison...it will definitely take your mind off of your own break-up and you can focus on someone else's...tragicomic is the best way to describe it. You'll feel a lot better about your own break-up, I bet, after you read about Al & Isabel's! Take care!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 6:36pm

Hi cfenzy,


Here's your previous posts to help others 'catch up'


I live right below my ex...eeek


My Ex lives right above me...Bad


Everyone grieves differently and for different lengths of time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2007
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 3:32am
I'm really sorry to tell you there is no specific time table or formula that will tell you the exact amount of time it will take you to get over him and feel like yourself again. I wish you could just add the amount of time you were together and the number of dates you went on and divide it by the number of kisses you enjoyed and multiply it by 40 to come up with a specific amount of time, but it just doesn't work that way. I think there are a number of things (the legnth of your relationship, the depth of your relationship, how connected you were, ect) that all determine how long it takes you to get over it. There's more though. You also play a big part in your own recovery. If you sit around and mope and feel sorry for yourself and eat gallons of ice cream and cry and think you'll never find somebody else, then it's going to take a lot longer compared to taking good care of yourself, finding activities to keep you busy and stuff like that. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't wallow in your own self pity for a while, but I really think one or two good nights of wallowing is enough. Maybe one by yourself and one with a girlfriend. After that, pamper yourself for a while. Go to the spa, get a message (my personal favorite), find an internet chat to practice some shameless flirting, take yourself and a good book out for a hearty meal of comfort food, buy a dog, get a mani and pedi. Do something to make yourself feel good. Then, when the time is right, it may be sooner, it may be later, start looking at men again. You don't have to rush back into anything, but take the time to sit in a public place and just watch. You'll figure out a lot about yourself and the type of man you are attracted to by just paying attention to which guys you find interesting. And finally, start dating again. It could take quite a while, but be patient and give your heart plenty of time to heal before you risk it agian, but please, risk it again. Never...NEVER...let one bad breakup seal your heart off completely!! I hope this helps!! Jessica

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 8:31am
I was with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and he broke up with me last April. This is probably not the best news, but I'm just now starting to feel the relief. It took this long for me just to start the "moving on" process. It was because I brought myself down, and made myself miserable for these 10 months!!!! I drove everyone around me crazy by talking about it, but now that I look back, I am lucky to have such good friends to let me complain about it, and it all paid off. I think it just depends on how you deal with it. If you hold on- you can never move on. Once you let him go, you will start to get over it. Talking about it REALLY REALLY helps, so let it out, and then let it go.