Told his parents, now he hates me
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| Mon, 07-31-2006 - 11:07pm |
Hi all,
So I've been broken up with my ex for over a month now and I'm really fine with it. I told him everything I had to say a couple of weeks ago, told him I will call him when I'm ready (we decided to stay friends), and sent him his stuff last weekend. Today, I did something that seemed like the right thing to do, but I'm not so sure anymore, or maybe I am just afraid that I completely lost him. We've been friends for 8 years now, dated for 2.5 of the 8. I know his family really well and stayed in touch with them after the breakup.
Well, my ex runs a website where he posts pictures that they take in various night clubs. Most of the time, the pictures were tasteful, but lately the website content started including pictures of girls making out, half-naked women, overtly sexual behavior. I thought he started doing it after we broke up, but apparently its been happening for a few weeks before then. Well, I am pretty sure that his family has no idea he is running the website and what kinds of pictures end up on it. It is a very influential family that promotes Christian values and is well-known in the community. My ex's parents are helping finance the business, including the website. I have been trying to tell him that if people find out that my ex is behind the website, it could really affect his parents' reputation. He dismissed me, yet he does not use his real name on the website and does not put his contact info on it. Basically, he is hiding it from his parents. Today, I got completely fed up with his lies and I decided that his family deserves to know, at least so that they can prevent public embarrassment. So I called his sister, who had no idea of the site's existence. I talked to her later in the day too, and she told me that she appreciated a heads-up and will try to protect my ex from their dad. Well, my ex was livid, told me to stay out of his life, and never contact him or his family again. He thinks I did it because I am bitter after the breakup, but I really did it to protect him and his family from negative social exposure. I understand his reaction, but I wish he could see that it was done out of the best intentions. I do not plan to contact them again, I am glad I told his sister, since he was not going to, but I am really saddened to loose a person who has been in my life for so long. I also wonder if it was all in vain and his parents are really ok with the website, which I simply cannot imagine them being.
I guess I could keep my big mouth shut, but my conscience and love for his family would not let me. Any encouragement or feedback would be appreciated.
Thank you!

....."Well, I am pretty sure that his family has no idea he is running the website and what kinds of pictures end up on it. It is a very influential family that promotes Christian values and is well-known in the community. My ex's parents are helping finance the business, including the website. I have been trying to tell him that if people find out that my ex is behind the website, it could really affect his parents' reputation. He dismissed me, yet he does not use his real name on the website and does not put his contact info on it. Basically, he is hiding it from his parents.".....