Too soon to be friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2006
Too soon to be friends?
3
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 3:52pm

I am the one who posted:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=20048.1&ctx=128

After a week and a half of no contact, he e-mailed me to get tea that weekend. We did and it was awkward. We went out later for drinks (separately) and I later called him (drunk). I know, bad move, but I didn't say anything crazy (I think).

It seems like he genuinely wants to be platonic friends but he says he is still very much attracted to me. I still have feelings for him. I am a little frustrated now. I don't believe I would like to be platonic friends, but I am not sure if I should tell him this because I don't want to pressure him into a relationship. Being friends with him right now is uncomfortable.

Should I tell him I need time before we can be friends--or should I just cut him off? I feel so frustrated--and I'm not sure if I'm giving you enough details right now. I feel like I know the answer to this one and just need to let go. Should I not even pick up the phone if he calls? If I pick up--what should I say? Also, my ex from a year ago is visiting for two weeks next week (he and I are most definitely platonic--we even work together now and may be starting a new business together) should I even tell this new ex? I don't think so, but then I feel like I'm hiding something from him. If he's my friend, should I be OK with telling him something like that? New ex is friends with an old college ex of his and he and I both agree that exes can be friends, but....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 4:53pm

hi flixbix

how can you be friend with the person if you think...he make you as a rebound girl? if i'm you i will cut the cord before it get worst and worst.

good luck

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 5:20pm

Yes, it definitely sounds like it's too soon. Send him an email telling him it's too soon and you'll be in touch when you're ready (which you may never be but you don't need to tell him that). No need to have a conversation with him.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 11:48am
I have an ex just like that. Always says that we are friends. I always catch him trying to be a friend with benefits. I hope that you find a solution in trying to get him out of your system. I have tried for 5 years to get rid of him. by me keeping in contact with him makes it 20 times as hard to make him go away. I find myself getting mixed emotions about him and he is married now for two months.. I guess what i am trying to say, it hurts to say good-bye but hurts to stay in contact... When you figure it out, please let me know.. I wish you alot of luck