totally heartbroken

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2006
totally heartbroken
1
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 11:21am
I didn't know it could feel this bad to be broken up with.. I was with the same guy for about 3 years... and things weren't going very well recently. It was mainly because we didn't see each other as often. And i had a really busy period, and in that time he felt i was being cold to him. he said since then he had started loving me less and less. But I didn't know this yet. I just thought we were going through a rough period, but i thought it would all get better, because in any relationship there are dips. But recently he had been treating me really cold, and he has been really distant to me. So eventually I came to the conclusion to break up with him. But as i did this i realised it was actually not at all what I wanted. But then he was saying how he actually thinks we should. and I was begging him not to break up, and I wanted to make this work so badly! But then all of a sudden he said he doesn't love me anymore... That hurt me so much!
I just don't know what to do. He was like my first for everything. And I can't be without him. I have the feeling I will never feel as at ease with someone as with him. I had the feeling I could totally be myself, and that he loved me for it. And I never even thought about not having him in my life. I don't know what to do. I don't want any other guy.. I only want him! :(... It hurts so much... Does anyone have any ideas on what to do.. I was thinking it should be possible for him to fall back in love with me, it happened once, and im sure it could happen again, but at the same time i feel like im living in a dream... Does anyone know how i can stop myself from feeling this hurt?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Sun, 04-09-2006 - 9:17pm
hi there, i know you'd love to hear someone say just what your looking for to make this easier but nothing anyone can say will. i'm hurting in a very similar way and it's been about 2 monthes. it's just a matter of time and i'm sure you've heard this/know this already but it's really the only thing that will help. i've found that in the meantime writing on these boards, writing in my journal, working out, being with friends and family have all helped keep me somewhat preoccupied. it's the alone time that's tough but staying stong during this time will make you an even stronger person with or without him. i've found myself feeling weak because i am crying so much but you know i think it's okay to cry because it makes you real, it makes you human. you mentioned you feel like your in a dream and i have too...one big flippin nightmare that i just want to wake up from. i've come to realize that it's so much easier falling in love with someone than it to fall out of love but what doesn't kill us will make us stonger. make sure to stay true to who you are first and formost. in this time "apart" focus on what will and does make you a happy individual so that how ever the cards fall you come out of this with exactly who/what you deserve. only you and your guy know what's truly going on...don't be ashamed for the situation on your plate just learn to grow. i hope in the end all works out for all us heartbroken gals but in the meantime lean on "us" in similar situations...this is what helps. take care and keep us informed.