Trust Your Dog

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Trust Your Dog
3
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 1:55pm

I just broke up with my bf on Sunday, but it should have happened a while ago. Over the last few weeks, I had come to realize that he really didn't care about me and that he's a fairly self-absorbed person and that I would never get my basic needs met from him (not even a "and how was your day?" when we talked in the evenings). The final nail in the coffin occured on Friday when he went skiing with friends (no invite to me) after I had asked him to spend some time with me and he blew me off by telling me that it wasn't a good time at work to take time off.

But, this selfishness was apparent from the beginning if I had only opened my eyes a little. He was mean to my dog!! He refused to pet her and constantly tormented her. She couldn't walk across the room without being thrown on her back and having her head tossed about. It got to the point where when he entered the house she would hide under furniture.

I'm still reeling from the break up and still wondering what is so wrong with me that he couldn't love me, but I know that I am better off. I am also mad that I didn't stick up for my dog or for me more and demand that both of us be treated better. But I guess that it is better that it happened now than next week or next month or next year.

I am sending out all my best wishes to those who are going through break-ups now - the holidays are not a good time to be newly single. And I am thankful for this site for helping me with this difficult time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 7:09pm

highplainsdrifter...

Pianoguy thinks that "man's best friend" isn't exclusive to the male sex! Women get some pretty good support...not to mention L-O-V-E from a favorite canine!

It's amazing how much a dog can 'detect' about a spouse or s.o. who might be "visible", but not necessarily LOVEABLE?

For nearly 14 years, I've been blessed with the companionship of a border collie who has watched 2 marriages dissolve...as well as tolerated my 4-year relationship with "the girlfriend from Hell!"

I don't know if this has anything to do with 'the protect your master' theory that's often connected to canines...but you can certainly count on a dog to cheer you up especially after a divorce or a relationship break-up!

.

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 12:17pm

::I'm still reeling from the break up and still wondering what is so wrong with me that he couldn't love me, but I know that I am better off

Whoa. Loving you would have meant he would have to be a nice, respectful, non-abusive (to your dog), considerate guy.... this is not your character/personaility flaw, it's his. As you said, self-absorbed.

You are NOT less than because of his actions or behavior. He is.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 1:00pm
My exbf did not like animals. He tolerated my cat and would even pet him occasionally, but mostly complained about him and yelled at him or called him names. He told me that there have been times in the past when he killed a dog or a cat for doing something. This really upset me. I have always had a soft spot for a man who loves animals and it bothered me that he had this negative attitude.