Trying to get over the last bump...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Trying to get over the last bump...
12
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 12:56pm

My ex broke it off with me about 4 months ago after 5 years of dating.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 1:39pm

Hi rossjack. I know exactly what you mean. My boyfriend of over 3 years broke up with me on New Year's day. Since then I've realized that he was verbally abusive to me. At the time, I figured it was just our way of arguing. But now that I've told other people about our experiences, friends and strangers (on this board) have told me that this is not a way to live and that I deserve better. This has really helped me move on the past couple months, but I cant help but hope that in the future he will change and we can be together again. And as you said, I know now that I will never get into a relationship with a person like him again, but him, I still love. So I cant help but hold out some hope that we'll be together again. I think that maybe when we feel its time to move on and date others we will find people that treat us better than our exes. Then, maybe, we'll be able to realize that our ex didn't treat us at all like we should be and we'll be able to let go of that hope to get back with them. I think it's ok to leave a little spot in our hearts for them since we spent such a big amount of our lives with them. I'm glad to hear someone else has the same feelings I am right now.

Good luck!

Marcie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 2:11pm

Thanks, it is nice to know someone else is feeling the same way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 3:44pm
Have you heard this.... if you live in the past it's regret. If you live in the future it's fear.?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 4:23pm

I know what you are saying but I just don't work that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 4:48pm

hey rossjack,

i know its really hard right now. i've been going through ups and downs myself. i had some minor surgery and have been stuck at home for the past week, so i have way too much time to think. what i do notice is that there is a lot of negativity in your posts:

"When we fell in love it was like it was happening in a book as it happened on such a large scale. I know I will never fall in love with anyone that way again..." ***i know it has helped me alot to think positively and be hopeful about future love. maybe you wont ever fall in love the same way, but thats not necessarily a bad thing. next time may be not so apparent but you may have a deeper love. i'm hopeful that i'll find someone that is better to me eventhough the falling in love part may not be right out of a fairy tale. i've been told that you'll never know when it will hit you and i believe it. just try to keep your chin up about the future whenever you start thinking about your past. i think it'll help a little. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 4:54pm

thank you,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 9:17pm

rossjack.


I was wondering how you've been getting along. I guess sorting through things eh?


I think the key to your post is not how you live your life, bc no matter how

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 1:59am
I think the best loves don't feel like fairy tales. They feel REAL. My ex and I were so much like a movie plot those first few months. It was so much "in love" and possibly not enough love. My parents say that they never felt like it was a fairy tale - it just felt right to them. They've been very happily married 35 years!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 10:39am

ditto !

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 3:11pm

Thanks for the kind words.

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