Trying to move on....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Trying to move on....
6
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 12:30pm
OKthese are just random thoughts Recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years, now this wasnt the greatest 2 year relationship, I;ve been cheated on, taken advantage of and just messed all up. In getting into this relation ship I knew what I wanted and it wasnt love I jsut wanted a friend to hang with and an occasional romp in the park(sex) when I started with him I knew what I wanted and he told me everything about him how he had 2 daughters lived with his babies momma and had two girlfriends on the side and knowiong this i thought ot myself ok this relationship isnt gonna go far its gonna be whatever well here I am two years later just finally broke up with him after taking care of his broke self for two years giving him what he wanted when he wanted, clothes, money, anything jewelry u name it and why well i guess i can say i did love him but i let all this happen because i thought i couldnt be alone my fear is being alone and i think he fed off of that fear i had. nOw he plays ping pong between me, his kids mother and some other little girl and I want out . There are days that I am ok I do not call him or text him or anything so then im fine then all of a sudden he calls I ignore the call to the best of my ability but then he pops up around my house and since i have two kids they look out the window and give it away that we are home. i think i want him out of my heart but everytime he comes back to see me like he did the other day I get this feeling that its for real but then he opens his mouth and asks for stuff talkin about he wants money or to take him shopping and i am literally tired of it all i want to get away and move on but he doesnt understand that i keep tellin him NO but he doesnt understand that. I know hes poison for me i know hes no good so y do i want him still ........ Please I need some insight from someone who can relate to this situation....so wanna move on
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 12:16am
no don't give anything to him...he is only comming around to see youfor your wallet. If you were the one paying and buying everything then of course he will come crawling back to you...your worth much more than that to have some guy cheat on you and has 2 gf's on the side or wateva...you need to get real with urself. Do you really want to always be 2nd or 3rd in his life? I would think that you would want ot be first in ur bf's or husband's life. Do you want your kids growing up, thining that's the way a normal family runs? when the ex comes around for more money? No. wat do you owe him?? nothing! So don't give in and don't pay for his things...he needs to wake up and realise that your not going to be here for him every single second of the day wheneva he wants...If you still love him, then break off all contact with him and shut the door in his face..until he realises that your gone, your not his. And then after that if he realises he loves you and proves it to you, then try to patch things up. However he must prove it, otherwise he will come up with a wack story about how he will soon be on the streets if you don't go buy him stuff. Sorry if this is a little harsh, but this just really ticked me off. Men think that females are just toy's. arrhh it annoys me soo much! anyway..sorry about that. good luck! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 8:00am
You need to find another man. Women are weak..really we are. So weak that having a family, a good friend, people that can hug you and give you comfort isn't enough. We want a guy. Which is natural. What is unnatural is when you want a guy so much so that you settle for an idiot that's obviously only using you. When he gets to your door you need to lock them and not open them. Doesn't matter if he was dying of temrinal cancer, you do not exist for him anymore. Then you need to get all pampered up, go out, flirt, have fun. Make little cards with your name and number and when you see a realy cute looking guy, sombody you think might be nice to go out for a cup of coffee, slip the card into his hand. When he calls, and he will trust me, go out and have fun. Also, realize that you might be alone for the rest of your life. It's a reality we all must face. Maybe you won't have a guy and sex on regular bases but so what. Find a good friend, surround yourselfg with family and your kids. Trust me, that's a much better option that being with a loser your ex seems to be.
I know, it's easy for me to write all this, i'm not emotionally in it as you are but maybe a cool head from somebody that can look at the story objectivelly really does help a bit. Just make a decision and stick with it. Be strong ok?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 9:02am
No need to apologize that is exactly the things i need to hear trust me coming from someone I do not know thank u so much really Im glad I signed up for this sign I need this support system I need people to tell me he s not worth the sweat off my back thank u means alot to me
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 9:10am

Thank u with this message board Im sure I have all the support I need from you guys/girls here and my family and friends Sometimes family and friends arent enough support but thank u so much

by the way hes very pathetic calld me again last night still askin talkin about los ehis number, and he tried working things out with me yeah whatever i told him I said ok i'll lose ur number but the funny thing is Im not the one contacting him hes contacting me so hello whats is wrong with I dont need him he needs me and Im letting go of that I woke up this morning feeling really good happy and all. So Im not going to let him mess up my good mood and happiness today

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 10:46am
Lock your door...don't take his calls...PERIOD. That's all I have to say about that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 4:28pm

Ok just random thoughts coming out

Heres an update since I was last on here I have seen the ex he has come by and we have had our sex escapade but i have stuck to my guns and still tell him now to whatever he asks to for. He still continues to try and get money from me tellin me he wants to come back home to me and how he wants his keys back so he can move back in but only under the conditions that I give him what he wants well of course I said no I told him I do not want to be with you no more I no longer love you i thought by sayin that that I can get it through my thick skull that its true i read somewhere if you write some down repetitively that it will eventually sink in well thats what Im trying or rather sayin it to myself that I do not wanna be with him no more and I do not love him and he does not deserve me and i think it might be working a little besides i told him im much happier with you

geez u hope i can keep this up for real cuz its hard any advise from anyone