Trying to move on
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Trying to move on
| Tue, 03-13-2007 - 5:10pm |
Getting over a broken heart is hard. I do not know when to begin!! I miss him so much! I want to call him. But, I have been advised not to. I do not know how to do this. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. When I see him it hurts. He is so cold and mean. I know that no contact is the best thing but, how do you actually do that. I have deleted him from my phone but I know his numbers by heart. I have tried the 10 min thing and it works sometimes. But mainly I just want to hear his voice, feel his arms around me, kiss his lips. Any advice?

Hi Ink,
All I can say is..I KNOW! I feel your same exact way. I hurt so much. The thing I think is hardest some days is...I'm forgetting how his voice sounds? How the kisses & touch felt...of course before we fell apart & were holding onto the lat bit of what we had. Regardless, I still love this A**. I wish I could NOT feel it, but I do! What is the 10 minute thing?? I haven't broken down & called. We haven't had ocntact in 17 days! I haven't heard his voice since....February 13th - the last time we saw eachother. ONE MONTH. Please esplain the "10 minute thing"- is it an excercise to NOT call or something??
Thanks & big HUGS to you! Sweetie
Hi jnk1710,
Check out a few of these:
Breakup Do's and Don'ts
Ok, well it has been 4 days NC for me. He actually text me on Wed the 14th. Not as if he said I love you! or I miss you!. It said "Tryin To F**K". I just don't understand. Why is he doing this to me? I cannot say that it has not been hard. There have been many time I have dialed his number and hung up. I want to talk to him. I want him to know I miss him! I want him to know I love him! I was the one that could not accept the relationship the way it was. He was fine. He came home everynight even thought it was at 3 or 4am. But he does work till 2:30am. Still I wanted more than what he was willing to give. He wanted to be friends with benefits forever it seemed. Are you kidding we had been messing around for almost a year. Can we take it to the next level please. I know I did the right thing by ending it. But, I cannot stop hurting. Does that mean I made a mistake? I want him in my life but, I want him to want to be in my life (FULLY). The one thing that has helped that someone suggested on here is to change his name in my phone to "HE DOSEN'T WANT YOU TO CALL" That is great advice. Everytime I look at it I say that's right. That's what he said "DO NOT CALL ME LOOSE MY NUMBER". SO just because he had an immature moment and wanted me to hurt by that text I can still be strong and not give in. It is hard and I still cry everyday. I know it will get better and I know that someone out there is going to love me and we are going to grow old together. Just sucks I wanted it to be with him. Oh well moving forward today. Thanks for letting me get that out. I would have to say that this site has helped me a lot.
JNK1710
Hi JNK710 -
In the top post you wrote: He is so cold and mean.
Remember that!
Ok, here is how this all began. I met him the day after I had ended a 5 year relationship that had been over long before I moved out and on. My dad actually knew of the man who has now broken my heart. He worked at Advance and my dad is a huge freak when it comes to his car. I had known of Chris for a long time prior to us becoming an item. Funny but I hated him for years. I thought he was a little punk. He was cocky and immature. So for years he would try to talk to me I would ignore him and if he gave me his number I would delete it or never store it. He moved away to Florida for a while and that was great by me. I didn't like him anyway. Well he came back and we ran in to one another the day after I ended a five year relationship with my Ex Ty. We were eating at a neighborhood restaurant. I was out with my family he was out with friends. Well since he knows my dad he sparked conversation with him. Somehow I got involved and before you know it. He had asked me to go out bowling with him and a few other people. I went I had a great time. He kissed me that night and I have never ever been kissed so sweet, soft and (JUST WOW). I melted. So we started talking and before you knew it we were together mostly everyday. He was staying over. My family loved him. My daughter loved him. Seemed almost too good to be true. In April 2006 I found out I was pregnant. I was not going to tell him because at that time we were having some problems. A friend convinced me to tell him because he should have a say. We ended up aborting. (VERY SAD) but for the best. He was only 21. Me I was 27 and I already had a 6 year old daughter. After that we were ok for a little while then things starting getting worse. We live in a drama filled neighborhood and most people that live there have been there their whole life. SO everyone knows everyone and mostly everything that goes on in your life. His friends would tell me he was cheating and I am stupid I confronted him but his answer was always they lied. Well we ended up breaking up. I found a new boyfriend and he I have no clue what he did. Well that did not last long I missed him he missed me and we got back to together. Well sort of kinda. He wanted to go slow. But man when he said slow I had no clue it would be that slow. I would ask him his intensions and where he wanted the relationship to go. I would get no answerers. All I could ever get him to say is I LOVE YOU!! Well that is great but there has to be more. Finally I just could not handle not knowing and I broke up with him. Now this is where we are and I am MISSING HIM like CRAZY and I cannot help but think I was not patient enough. Even though I know I was and he is the one that could not talk to me or tell me how he feels or what he want's. I STILL JUST REALLY WANT HIM!!!!!. We live in the same neighborhood and have the same friends (Kinda). We bowl on the same league. He comes to parties. How is this going to be easy? It isn't and it hurts to know he is not hurting. And if he is he isn't letting anyone see it. I cannot stop crying. I just want the pain to end. I keep thinking what if. Oh well there you have it the whole story. Sorry not great at spelling or punctuation.
Missing him like crazy
JNK1710
This seems to be the key statement:
Still I wanted more than what he was willing to give. He wanted to be friends with benefits forever it seemed.
Read this:
Moving on with NO CONTACT
You know I have found that music helps. I am a huge Country music fan. Even though most of that these days make me cry. I have found strength in a song by the Wreckers.. Called LEAVE THE PIECES. It fits my story perfect.
THE WRECKERS
"LEAVE THE PIECES"
You're not sure that you love me
But you're not sure enough to let me go
Baby it ain't fair you know
To just keep me hangin' 'round
You say you don't wanna hurt me
Don't want to see my tears
So why are you still standing here
Just watching me drown
And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go
You can drag out the heartache
Baby you can make it quick
Really get it over with
And just let me move on
Don't concern yourself
With this mess you've left for me
I can clean it up, you see
Just as long as you're gone
You not making up your mind
Is killing me and wasting time
I need so much more than that
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Leave the pieces when you go
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Leave the pieces when you go
Just read it helps. Atleast for me it has. There is another song by Carrie Underwood called Wasted. That is great and says so much
JNK1710
THANK YOU.. It helps just knowing I can write and people actually take the time to write back. I have read so many peoples (POST'S) I do not know where to begin. I do not feel as if I can offer any advice at this time to any of you. I will though. Give me a few more days and I will..
All and all if we all just hang in there. I know we will be just fine. It may be hard now but in the end we will be stronger and it will be harder to hurt us.
JNK1710