Trying to move on

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
Trying to move on
3
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 3:08am
I just broke up with someone about 4 months ago. I'm trying to pick up and move on, but it's hard. I feel like that was the last chance for me and I'm losing a lot of confidence in people. I find myself shutting the world out even if I'm in the middle of a crowd. Confidence in myself is hard to come by now. I tried to read some posts but felt guilty for not giving my 2 cents. Maybe I'm okay, maybe I'm not; It's hard for me to tell because I don't always know who to lean on. Then I feel like I lean on too few people too often. It's really hard when everyone you know is coupled up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 12:53pm

Hi beingdiscreet and welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2007
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:23am
if your the one who broke up with someone and your finding things hard , try being the one that got broken up with, what your going threw is that you are looking for something bigger and better than what you just left and your expectations are way to high witch is leaving you the way you feel, my wife left me for noone after 13 years and its been 2 years now since we split and ill be honest with you, i havent even come close to being over the pain, my advise to you is dont expect to find the better thing that you want, this time right now that your going threw is your time to recover even if your not on the recieving end of being hurt, your looking to move way to fast and your gunna be disapionted with what you find, believe me i feel exactly like you but we are on different sides of the split up, believe me its the hardest thing ive ever had to do, ive been on lots of dates and its not working at all so now im just taking care of myself and my kids, after what my ex wife just did to me, i wanted to move really fast and start where i left off but its not gunna happen
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2005
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 10:05am

hey sweetie...i know exactly what youre goin through. it sucks. bad. my ex and i called it quits after almost four years. (oh goodness, it was horrible!) my world came crashing down on me...i was very depressed months afterwards. i shut myself in my house, put this shell around me...no one could get in...not even my own mother. i lost confidence in everything...including myself. i didnt feel as if i would find someone like him again...i completely lost my faith in love, happiness, and all that good stuff. seriously, i was in BAD shape and those around me were very concerned. but as i sat in my little cocoon, an amazing thing happened: i started to have faith in LIFE again. i started going out with friends and being social. weekly manicure and pedicures combined with designer hair conditioner became the norm. i smiled more. more importantly, i began to realize that i can be HAPPY again. WITHOUT HIM. and here i am, more 10 months later, a healed heart, a new lease on life, and a NEW man that loves me for ME and i love him too.
i know it hard to move on. and its hard. anyone who tells you its easy to break up and move on is lying most of the time. so here's my advice to you: go get a pedicure/manicure, tell yourself that you deserve happiness (cuz you do!) and that life goes on. trust me, it does. i know it doesnt seem that way now...lol. someday, youre going to be okay. bad stuff doesnt last forever.

hugs and love
amber :)