Trying to move on...
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| Tue, 01-23-2007 - 3:23pm |
Hello again. I have posted my many problems with the ex on this board and I want to thank everyone for the wonderful advice. Short recap, we broke up... :) Anyway, we did the no contact thing for a while but he kept just showing up at my house and it's easier to just talk with him because now I have more control of the situation. Anyway, we are 'friends' I guess. We talk a few times a week and we hung out last night. Here's the problem; he's acting like my boyfriend again. I wouldn't have a problem with this, but I think I have met someone new. He called me this morning at work just wanting to see how my day was going and he made me promise to call him before I went to class tonight. As much as I would love for this to really mean something, I know this guy, and for some reason it doesn't really mean anything to him. Even though he does all of these things, he still wants to 'be single'. Well last night, I met a guy and (I never do this) but I got his number and I had intended on calling him but now I'm feeling guilty. In the back of my head I know that we have broken up and I really should move on (with guy number two hopefully!) but I can't help but think of all these things he is doing and feel like I should talk to him before I try dating again. I asked him for the number to his tax guy (I don't have one, and it's that time of year) and he says "I'll call him and we can go together". Does he not remember that he broke up with me? I don't think this is the "please don't hate me since i broke up with you" syndrome, it's gone far past that. Any help ladies? Or guys?

Sounds like more of 'I'm comfortable with you, you meet most of my needs, so yeah, let's hang out, oh you have needs too, sorry, can't do that.'
You are going to have to be the one that sets boundaries.
Carrie
it's still too soon, stl, because he isn't "getting it". Sometimes it's hard to determine how long it will be before you can really be friends, and sometimes you simply can't be friends. You've done NC and feel stronger, but now you've tried contact and it isn't working, so go back to NC so you can heal a bit more.
If you're feeling guilty about possibly seeing somebody else and he's acting like your boyfriend, then you aren't at the "friend" stage yet.