Trying to move on but he won't let me
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 06-02-2006 - 1:34pm |
So i've posted before about my breakup (last month) with a guy i've seen for 4 years (living together the last year). I am 22 and he is 24.
It was paralyzing at first because even though I saw the signs and we fought a bunch about nothing, I still felt totally rejected from the person i trusted and loved most.
I struggled trying to find the real reasons but honestly I feel he had instigated many fights during the last month just to find an excuse to leave so that he could continue pursuing his new social-bar-hopping lifestyle he'd recently picked up alongside a bunch of mystery girls. Whatever floats his boat.
Living together makes it most difficult because we have to discuss the last month's rent, furniture removal etc. but i've made it clear to him i do not want to see or speak to him. I take care of the money issues for my own half and leave him the checks and his mail.
The problem is, he left me alone for a week, no calls or emails (or myspace comments) but a couple of days ago he called me repetitively and then emailed me yesterday when he didn't hear from me. His email made me feel sad/mad all over again and i've been doing so well staying away from thoughts of him and us. He said he was 'worried' about me and wanted me to email him back saying anything because he was so 'scared' when he hadn't heard from me. Whats that???? Worried?! I felt like he was almost demeaning my progress and me in general! I did reply answering a question he had left in a voicemail about the move out date and told him I was fine, I was trying to move on, and to STOP worrying about me and trying to contact. Quick, to the point and not at all mean or nasty. I was just sick of seeing his number pop up on my phone and his name in my email but was unsure if i should have replied at all.
Question: Was my response appropriate? And in the future how should I handle any contact with him? I do not want to get back together with him even though he had told me it was just temporary. I've lost enough self-confidence in the last year to put myself through that again.
Thank you for all for the help and Happy Breakup Day!

Yes, your response was appropriate. If he has any respect for you at all, he'll do as you ask.
But just in case, I would suggest that you BLOCK him from emailing and/or calling you (I realize that you can't block calls on most cell phones though--most email programs have a block function though). Otherwise, you're going to just have to ignore the calls if you can't block him, or change your number.
Sheri