Trying no contact

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Trying no contact
2
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 12:16pm
BF broke up with me 6 weeks ago after a 6 year relationship. I was his first love and he was the love of my life. I feel we both truley love each other but want different things in life. I am trying hard to get over and move on. I have a friend that I date but I do not have feelings for him. BF jumped right into a new relationship. I actually feel he left to be with her even thou he says thats not the case but all the evidence shows it is. I told BF at 3 weeks that we needed no contact and I ended up a week later calling him. He did come see me and we spent time together that night and I did end up sleeping with him. I have to admit it felt really good to hold him again. We did not talk about us just general chit chat. The next day he calls telling me to read our horoscopes and his GF's said that it is better for her to be detatched instead of attached and he said he felt he should stop seeing her because he felt he was leading her on because he didnt care about her and it was just sex. I told him to go with his heart and his gut and do whats right for him and dont let anyone influnce him. I ended up driving by his house that night just to see and she was there so he did not stop seeing her but I feel he was leading me on by saying that and not following thru. I knew that I should have stuck with no contact so after that I decided it was best. My problem is I just want him to go away and not see him so I can heal and for some reason God is not allowing it to happen. I was at a friends house and by coninsedence he ended up there Saturday. She has a private boat ramp and he was pulling out a friends boat there because they were unable to get the boat out of the ramp they used to lanch. We just looked at each other but didnt speak. He ended up calling me Sunday because I was there with a bunch of guys and I think it bothered him. I was not with any of them just hanging out. Then I was at the bowling ally on Monday with a friend and the weirdest thing I had just said to my friend that I do love him and miss him and he walks right out the door where we were. I ended up chatting for 1/2 hour with him and his friend and then I left. We were on friendly terms and spoke nothing about us. Then yesterday I was driving down the street and he was passing going the other way. I start doing ok and then bam there he is. I feel like I am always looking over my shoulder. I have seen him 3 times this week not by choice. I sometimes feel I cant go out of my house for fear of running into him. I dont know what advise I am asking for here but a little encourgment would help. Thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 1:46pm

it really must suck to keep running into your ex when you're trying to do the nc thing, i'm sorry you're having such a difficult time.....because you really can't control running into him, unless you become a prisoner in your own home, which i don't think is a very good idea. i really don't really believe that it's God playing cruel tricks on you, although it's normal to feel that way at times...sometimes when we are in so much pain, or don't understand why something is happening to us, we tend to "blame" God, i've done my share of that. i find that just seeing something in a different light could make a world of difference...maybe there something to be learned or "unlearned", or something you're supposed to see through this......i don't know, but i don't believe in coinsidence, i think God is always trying to teach us something. i know it really hurts though...you're not alone, many of us are going through our own pain/hurt as well.

take care, and i wish you well on your journey of healing and self-discovery.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 2:57pm
Thank you Trying 2 heal. I dont feel I am blaming God :) I do know that we all have lessons to learn in life and I am just trying to figure out what this lesson is that I am confronted with. After posting this EXBF called to tell me he ran into a friend of mine and gave her my number. I do feel this is an excuse for him to call and I am sure he misses me. The reason we broke up is because he wants children and I am unable to have them. I love him enough to want him to have children in his life and to let him go. I also on the other hand feel I deserve someone I can build a future with and did not feel I could with him because of the children aspect. We did love each other more than we have ever loved before. I have learned so much thru this experiance. I guess there is more for me to learn. This has got to be the second hardest thing in my life that I have had to deal with and the hardest was losing my Mother. I appreciate your advise and again THANKS