Trying not to call

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2004
Trying not to call
6
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 12:40pm

It is so hard no to call my xbf. It has been since Saturday that I last talked to him, but I just have such an urge just to hear him. I'm friends with his roomate. He told me this morning that xbf said to him yesterday, "I can't beleive Kim hasn't called yet." That helps me so much to have the willpower not to call him if he is that arrogant to think I wouldn't be able to stop calling him. I marked on my calendar each week how many weeks it has been since I have called him. Maybe I'll give myself something special each week when I haven't called. As much as I want to I know I can't call because I feel it will just reopen those wounds and will hurt all the more.

Kim

Avatar for deneeecie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 1:15pm

You are absolutely correct!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 10:20pm
I think rewarding yourself for not calling is a great idea!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 12:54am

I understand you perfectly Kim as I am in a similar situation.I just broke up with my ex last Thursday and a day without hearing his voice or at least getting a message from him seems like hell.

He SMSd me on Saturday telling me to call whenever I needed to chat .However, how would I call such a jerk for a chat to get to hurt even more.So by reminding myself of all the nasty things he told me I get the courage not to pick up my phone and call or text him.

I don't want him to think that I can't live without him and you should do the same.!

Only time will heal the wound but it WILL - believe me!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2004
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 11:41am

Why does it seem like it is mostly the men that do this to us women? To just be cruel and cut us out of their lives and then expect us to be calling them all of the time hoping to get back together with them. My xbf's roomate told me that my xbf was drinking a lot more than usual the other day and was much more short tempered and wasn't his usual self. Makes me feel better knowing that maybe he's hurting some too. Gives me a lot of resolve too not to call. Any ideas how I can reward myself at the end of each week?

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 12:21pm

Re.rewarding yourself perhaps you could just call another best friend of yours so that you will realise that you have many more important people to call rather than wasting money calling a jerk!!

Also, I would suggest that you remove his telephone numbers from your mobile or wherever you keep them!! That will make you less tempted to click on his name and press the call button!! That's what I just did yesterday and believe it or not psychologically it helps me believe that he's not part of my life anymore.!!

if I think of any more rewards I will let you know!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 4:09pm
I'm in the same boat! My bf and I broke up about three weeks ago. We're still talking on a regular basis, mainly because he still has things at my apt (which was our apt) and we share a dog (which is turning out to be kind of like spilting custody of a child!). However, it is very hard for me to not call him just because. For four years, we spent so much time together and talked all the time when we were apart. So I feel your pain! What I do is change the headline on my phone- so when I go to grab my phone and call him, the screen says something like "Self-Control" or "NONONONONO" or "Don't do it!". For a land line, I'd write the phrase on a post-it and tape it to the phone. It sounds dumb, but it helps! I think someone else also suggested this, but I try and call a friend when I get the urge to call him. I like your reward idea, too, I never thought of that. For me, it's a reward in itself just knowing though that he expects me to call and I don't! Just like all the times he did that to me! Good luck!