Trying not to call -- please help!
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| Sat, 11-26-2005 - 11:35am |
My BF broke up with me over the phone last weekend and I haven't spoken to him since. We had a long-distance relationship for 1.5 years (we were working on being together and plans were being made) and he called to tell me that he had "met someone else" and that this is the "one" and that he was never "sure" about our relationship (that was the first I heard of that!). I cried of course and told him that he broke my heart and got off of the phone. He has since called me twice and sent an e-mail to see if I was "okay" and I have not responded (which has been SO hard for me!). I thought that it would get easier during the week not to want to speak to him -- but I feel more and more manic everyday. I'm eating very little and sleeping even less. I resent that he can just go on with his "perfect" new girl and I'm left here with a mess. Is it worth even responding at all? How do I let this go and let myself fully believe that I'm better off now than with someone who would treat me like this? Any advice would be REALLY appreciated.
Thanks! :-)

it's not the end of the world and there are so many other things in life - it's true! watch a movie, read, meat friends, i don't know what you like - just to the best for YOU.
it will all pass :-))
hugs,
I.
i'm sorry you're going through this. I know it is very painful.
but PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND to his e-mail.
you don't need him to check if you're o.k. Do not give him the satisfaction of knowing how you are. be strong and have dignity.. He found someone else fine. Now you remember what he told you and how he did it. and move on. I now it's hard but we are here to help you.
trust me the best thing is not CONTACT. MY EX did the same he sent me 2 letters wich i did not respond, just to let me know how sorry he feels for me and is humilliating. block his email address. i just trying to prevent you from the pain i felt when i read those e-mails.
please do it. he is not worth it.
keep me post
take care.
It's amazing how I can feel so strong one moment and so weak the next! I also seem to keep making excuses in my head for his behavior (especially that he might be regreting it - yeah, right). I don't think I've ever felt so crazy in my entire life. Thanks soooo much for the advice and support as it has definitely helped me from contacting him (and I HOPE I can keep it up). I can't wait for the day when I finally can see 100% clearly. I hope it will be sooner than too much later ;-).
Best...
Sorry, I couldn't help myself with this.....
Meat friends always help in the short term, but it probably isn't the best way to go for long term healing and mental health.
At least I made myself laugh......
maybe you can share your solution for a long-term healing and mental health .... :-)) it was not evident from the message...
my solution is simple: you have to see that HE is not a God, that you have friends, other interests, your career, your health,etc. and that life is not only about HIM.
and you know it is very true.
it doesn't lead anywhere to analyze, think what's wrong with you, go to doctors, etc. because there is nothing wrong with you, only your ego was hurt by betrayal, and there is no therapy against that! bite the bullet, see larger world around you, don;t get fixated on one person - noone is worthy of that.
You are right, I didn't offer any advise....just made a joke.
Your advise was very good, by the way. What works for you may not work for others though...
For me, I think time is the key. Remembering that you've been through this (or other people you know have) and that with time things do get better.
I do think, however, that therapy can be helpful. If nothing else, it will keep you from burning out your friends (who can only take so much) if you have a desire to talk about and analyze what happened and why. It can also help you learn more about yourself, so that you can grow more as a person (and maybe end a cycle of making the same mistakes over and over).
Staying busy with friends (although not meat friends), your interests (even if they don't seem so interesting anymore), work/career, working out on a regular basis. Finding something new to do that is interesting and exciting is also helpful for the self esteem too.
But the key is time....getting through each day and letting the days pile up so that a lot of time has past.
i never said you have to burn out your friends with talk about your ex's.
please in the future try not to assume so much. and i don't like jokes at the expense of others.
nothing personal
Sorry, didn't assume anything.
I meant to say that some people do have a need to talk about what happened with their friends. If you are so inclined (which I am), then it is probably better to talk with a counselor rather than burn out your friends with constant talk about the break up.
Also, yes, I do have friends to talk about what is going on in my life and to listen to what is going on in their life. So yes, I talk to my friends (in depth) about what is going on in my life....and I consider that an important part of my friendships.
I still think you missed my joke (which I happen to think wasn't at anyone's expense and was at least funny to me).
I'm just saying we are all different and what works for you may not do the job for everyone...as evidenced by the fact that people do go and see a counselor after a breakup.
Seems like you are doing your far share of assumption.....
nothing personal
Edited 12/3/2005 2:37 am ET by lled2
Edited 12/3/2005 2:38 am ET by lled2
Edited 12/3/2005 2:39 am ET by lled2