two guys? so confused need advice
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 03-10-2008 - 11:39am |
Let me start off by explaining the situation. I've posted on here before about ending a year long relationship with my guy after a month long break and him lying and being selfish. I wasn't happy in the relationship at all towards the end and became miserable each time I talked to him. I'm in college an hour away and hes at home working so we see each other a couple of times a month. Basically in the end it all came down to we didnt trust each other at all. I wasn't happy and neither was he. So I ended it before it got any worse while we were on a break.
After breaking up with him I started going out with my friends more and made friends with an entire group of guys (something i wasnt able to do for the past year due to my ex's over jealous and protectiveness). I started talking to one of the guys in this group and we hung out a couple of times before we hooked up (no sex). Anyway it was hard not being with my ex anymore but this new guy made it kinda easier for me to get over. I started spending a lot more time with him and began liking him and he likes me.
However, now my ex is back in the picture calling me up to 36 times a day when I dont answer the phone, making up new screen names to talk to me online with, and texting me periodically. Hes called me names like "whore" "slut" "bitch" and made fun of the new guy I was with.
Me and the new guy are not dating, although he did ask me to be his girlfriend...i denied explaining the situation with my ex and he fully understands.
All my family and friends do not like my ex at all and have straight out told me that if i get back together with him they know I'll be happy for a little while and then straight back to miserable...while I still care about him I know they're right but I can't help but wonder if I'll get back together with him over the summer.
I really like this new guy, but i still care about my ex even though hes borderline crazy....
I know in my head I should move on and keep pursueing the new guy but I feel so guilty after he calls a million times that I end up calling back -- only to fight.
I feel like in a way I'm leading the new guy on even though I am developing feelings for him....
what should i do? someone PLEASE give me some advice..i need some so badly

Welcome to the board dee288,
As long as your ex's feelings matter more to you than your own, you will continue to follow this pattern and fight, be miserable.
its just so hard when hes constantly bringing up old memories and good times
it makes it hard to remember the bad when all you're being told is all the good. and then i kinda want that again and hes PROMISING to change....everyones telling me not to believe it and i wanna listen to everyone
but someones heart is gunna get broken in this whole deal
and someones feelings are gunna get hurt when i decide what i wanna do...either the ex or the new guy...and definently me
the only other thing is i was thinking last night about this situation and if it were him doing this to me i would be devastated...the thought of him with another girl makes me feel sick and here i am already hooking up with someone else while hes trying everything he can to get back together with me
i decided him calling me is such a bad idea and only makes me feel like im doing something wrong so i asked him to stop last night and he actually CRIED and begged for me to be back with him!! i felt so bad but i told him i would be home in 2 weeks for spring break and i think if we didnt talk from now until then it could maybe help us or make it easier for us to get over each other...
and then theres the other guy to think about...and because i still careabout my ex i technically AM leading the new guy on even tho he does kno everything about the situation...ahhh im so confusedddd