UGH The Holidays

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2007
UGH The Holidays
1
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 8:46am

What is the best way to handle the holidays? My ex and I will be back in town and have a very recent breakup- after many years together (first relationship for both). We have stayed in touch on a friendly basis and will be attending a function we paid a lot of money for and will go together- strictly on a friends basis, which he is well aware of. I'm doing well with the breakup, I'm sad but I'm way over the thought of getting back together- I am ready to move on. He is not so ready and I know he has not cut contact with me because he is hurting.


I know this is going to be a lonely time and I will surround myself with family and friends as much as I can. At the same time, I worry for him because I know this is harder on him right now. Why am I always worrying about how he is? Is it because I will always love and care for him in a way? Or is it because I secretly am glad he is hurting because he hurt me so much? Sometimes I wonder if I want him to hurt as much as I did- and I feel kind of good/bad about that???? Does anyone understand that?


I suspect when the holidays are over, we will stop contact. I think he has been lingering because he doesn't want the break up and maybe he wants to keep things as cordial as possible until this function.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Mon, 12-10-2007 - 5:28pm
Hi. I feel you. The holidays are rough. I'm going through somewhat of a similar situation. All I can suggest is to do what is going to feel good and ultimately be right for YOU. If the relationship is really over, its not your responsibility to carry his emotional weight too. Wishing you the best, Joy :)