Ugh I hate myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Ugh I hate myself
2
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 10:00pm
Well its been almost two monthes since my exe and I called it quits. I was doing great until he sent me a package. He sent me some stuff that he wanted me to have, because he is moving. An old hoodie of his, etc... He just sent it and didn't even ask me if i wanted the stuff or not. The thoughts and emotions just rushed in. He is moving in 4 days. I will never see him again. Why does that thought still hurt? He and I are working on a friendship, but sometimes... I still miss him. Well maybe not him... the companionship... okay and him too. Its just been a bad night.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2007
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 10:24pm
sorry...I'm just new to a break up myself...I feel your pain...sincerely....I can't even offer advice, just know that you aren't alone! I hope that things get better, my dear...you are worth being happy and finding someone to make you happy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 11:03am

big HUGS!!!

i know how you feel. all of a sudden you just get this whoosh of feelings that you thought were slowly dissapating. that's what happened when i found some old clothes of his that i had the other day- they still even smelled of his scent - it just triggered all those feelings.

be glad that you are trying to be friends. you have lots of great memories, and who knows, if the med school thing works out, maybe in a few years you can try again. it'll come back if it's meant to be. i can't do that with my ex- because he lied, and i can't trust someone who has shown he is a liar.

i know that you miss him and the companionship. you wonder about the future and if he's included in anyway. but you have to choose to try and move on, because that's what he is doing by moving away. you'll get through this. every day is another emotional rollercoaster. there are days when everything goes well, no snags, no issues and then there are days when emotionally and mentally, all you do is think of him, even if you don't want to. there are days when i wake up in the night and i cry for a few minutes because i want him, but i know he's made a conscious decision to be with the emotional affair girl. they may not be bf and gf, but they are dating and hanging out, which shows me he has moved on. i ask myself, where was the time for him to mourn the last 5 years we were together. why plunge into a new relationship to only end up mourning 2 of them? but then again, i think better HER than me, because she isn't the type to devote herself to him completely and if they are happy together, let them be.

you've been doing great. i've read your posts prior to this, and you will be okay. you are stronger now than you were weeks ago. you are making a conscious choice to move on and be happy with yourself. you're even trying to be friends. you know enough that loving yourself is your main priority now. be proud of that.